no. 26: no stress, intentional baby registry recommendations
my obsessively researched and validated recommendations to prepare for a new baby (without going overboard).
This post talks about pregnancy and preparing to welcome a new child. If that’s not for you today, I’d recommend skipping this one.
One of the most exciting (and okay, a little bit stressful) things about preparing for the baby's arrival was navigating the baby registry process. As a first time mom, I had exactly *nothing* for a baby, and wasn’t entirely sure where to start.
During my pregnancy, I found myself inundated with tiktok videos, blog posts and articles highlighting about a million products that you just *have to have* during the first year with a baby. I felt so overwhelmed with just how many things people were recommending, and personally felt resistant to the idea of that much STUFF, without knowing if or when I would actually need it.
So I did what I do best and got myself in a bit of an analysis paralysis research spiral trying to perfectly triangulate the best combination of cost and aesthetics and whether or not we actually needed it. (this literally went on for so long that one of my best friends had to make me stop researching and just commit before my baby shower so that people could get me gifts. You the real MVP, girl!)
Fast forward to today: “What on earth do I put on my baby registry???!!!!” is one of the most common question types I get any time I do a Q&A or poll for topics. Y’all are remarkably consistent (and I’m so sorry it has taken me this long?!)
Our little guy is just about 18 months old, and I am *finally* ready to not only share the fruits of that obsessively researched labor, but also layer in the wisdom of time to reflect on what we used, how long we *actually* used it, and what was “worth it”, (or not).
In this issue, you can expect:
The ultimate baby registry prep spreadsheet - *the* consolidated list to help you build your own no-stress, intentional baby registry, complete with all my research and experience notes.
So much research (and time, and love!) has gone into this one, because it mattered so much to me to be able to give honest, authentic recommendations from my own experience. Welcoming a new baby is such an exciting (and crazy! And overwhelming! And happy! And scary! And everything!) time of life, and there is so much information out there to sift through.
Whether you’re a new mom to-be, or whether you love one, I hope this issue makes the process just a little bit easier and more fun.
Okay i think that’s it, love you!
Xx,
LET’S TALK PROCESS:
I always think it’s helpful to talk about the method behind the madness whenever I’m sharing recommendations like this. When I finally sat down to make my list, I focused on a few key things:
*I wanted high quality (so it would last) but I didn’t to buy the most expensive things “just because”
*I wanted everything we needed (but nothing we didn’t) to avoid adding clutter
*I wanted sustainable, organic, and nontoxic where possible (without freaking out about it)
Once I knew what our priorities were for the list, I took a fairly scientific approach to try to streamline our research in order to minimize stress, shop with intention, and reduce unnecessary purchases.
Break down the list into categories, and then make a short list of what types of items are commonly recommended in each category.
Do research on the options for each item on the short list, as well as the differences in price ranges, reviews, etc.
Consider what we need and when, and then start with the basics – you can always get more later!
A NOTE ON CONSCIOUS CONSUMPTION:
There are numerous ways to get the items that you need to prep for an incoming baby that doesn’t always include a major spending spree or asking your loved ones to buy expensive things for you. We utilized the following approaches:
Add our minimal list to our baby registry – one of the things that was the most eye opening to me was that people were so genuinely thrilled for us, and how excited they were to have a list of things we actually wanted. Looking back, I added about 55 total products to our registry, and 35 of them were purchased - which was SO generous, and more than enough.
Look at used (from friends or family) and second hand or buy nothing groups (there are a few excellent ones in Seattle!)
When and where it makes sense, just bite the bullet and buy it. For this one, I definitely recommend taking advantage of discounts when and where you can. I know Babylist provides a ~15% registry discount (how we ordered the majority of our big purchases, like crib, stroller, and monitor), and other retailers that do baby registries often provide similar kinds of discounts.
MY TOP 7 REGISTRY RECOMMENDATIONS
18 months in, these items are the ones that stand out to me as the perfect registry items. These are not the bare minimum, exclusively practical essentials. Instead, these recs straddle a very specific niche between “this makes life so much easier and more seamless” and “this is nice to have” that can make for a perfect gift. Something you want, but it’s nicer if someone gives it to you, you know? They hit a range of price points and functional purposes, and I stand by both the item recommendations and the specific products linked as my favorite items as a new first time mom.
The swaddle we loved so much we overnighted it from the hospital: there are a zillion swaddles out there, but the one our hospital used wasn’t even on our radar. It was *so easy* to use, with double zippers and velcro, made of super soft microfleece, and cute as a button. Sleep is essential in early days, and
The only baby clothes I give as gifts (now that I know better): listen. If you follow a bunch of online lists, you’re going to end up with 87 onesies that the baby never wears and outgrows in a few weeks. I strongly preferred sleeper / sleep and play styles versus a onesie + pants combo (for efficiency) and the discovery of these magnet closure outfits changed the game for middle of the night changes, and ease of use. (if you’re looking for gifts for a friend: skip the onesies. Do this instead).
The top tier baby lounger: there is a trendy cushion style baby lounger that has been extremely popular in online registry recommendations – it’s also been the subject of a consumer product safety commission warning for safety reasons and risk of asphyxiation. We opted for a mesh style bouncer / lounger instead and it was our favorite accessory for a solid six months. Little Bear would lounge or play while I cooked or did things around the house, and it adjusts to practice sitting up as they get older.
The chicest baby play center: I can’t be the only one who looked around during wake windows in the first few weeks and didn’t really know what to *do* with a baby. We received this play center from our registry and used it every single day, multiple times a day. I loved that the functionality evolved as baby developed from tummy time to rolling over, crawling and sitting. There are so many variations out there, but I found having one made those early days more playful and fun.
The place you’ll spend the most time in the first 3-4 months: a glider / recliner. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, you’re going to spend a *lot* of time sitting. I didn’t give it much thought (i have a perfectly good couch, bed, etc) but Mark was insistent I get a good one and I am SO GLAD he did. The one we went with has an electric recline and side port to let you plug in and charge a phone (so handy!). I think in the past year I’ve spent as much time in this chair as I have in my own bed, and I still sit in it voluntarily so I hope that tells you how comfortable it is!
The ultimate hands free accessory: my all time favorite baby carrier. Babywearing only really occurred to me in the context of walking and hiking before Little Bear. I very quickly earned a whole new appreciation for the need to hold your little one and also be able to do things like make and eat lunch. We tried a few, and I found this one to be the most comfortable for me, the easiest to put on (and, selfishly, the cutest). Makes walks, travel, cooking, soothing, you name it easy and hands free.
The tracking app that soothed my peace of mind (and I credit with single handedly contributing to our kid sleeping through the night regularly): My best friend recommended this multi-functional app to me and it’s the best thing I used. You can track feeds (so helpful in the early days!) and growth metrics, as well as sleep. The real magic comes in around 2 months, where the premium subscription will begin to generate recommended sleep and wake schedules based on babies age and duration of night sleep / naps. The recommended schedules took the guesswork and mental math out of wake windows, and played a huge role in my confidence making it through sleep regressions.
3 CATEGORIES OF THINGS I RECOMMEND AGAINST INCLUDING IN A REGISTRY
These are items that range from “this is a gimmick and you don’t need it” to “it’s easier to just buy this yourself when it comes up”. This is my perspective as someone who despises clutter and hates overspending on things you don’t need, and lives in a house without a ton of room to keep sh!t you never use.
Questionably / unsafe items: There are so many products folks recommend on tiktok that run the range from questionably to severely unsafe. If there is one thing about me, it’s that I’m never going to fuck around and find out when it comes to my kid, especially when it relates to products that could cause injury or long term developmental problems. A few examples:
Infant Loungers / Dock-a-tot: Does not comply with federal regulations for Infant Sleep Products and has been associated with infant deaths. The company has argued that the product is not a “sleep” product, which doesn’t negate the risk of asphyxiation.
Bumbo Seats, Walkers, Jump-Bouncers: There are lots of container-type products that are promoted as helping a baby “practice” walking, jumping and sitting. There is a growing body of evidence that these products can be unsafe when used improperly, and that they can potentially cause developmental issues related to hips, joints and muscle.
Bougie single functionality items; (butt spatula, wipe warmers, grape cutters, nosefrida, baby shusher, etc). These are almost all made of plastic, and are fairly expensive for what they actually do and how often you are likely to use them. If they bring you joy, you can absolutely go for it, but I skipped all of them and didn’t miss them.
Lots of baby clothes: HEAR ME OUT. Yes, baby has to get dressed. But even with the most minimal list ever, we ended up with a ton of stuff we never used. Some considerations:
Newborn clothes: in many cases, will only fit for a few weeks before the baby moves to a 0-3M size. You definitely need a few, but not nearly as many as you think!
Fancy outfits: I don’t know your life, but I found that we rarely wore the “fancy outfit” sets we got through about 5 months. They are frequently tough to take on and off for changes (and spit ups and blows out and…) especially for days we were just relaxing around the house (uh, most of them) it just wasn’t practical. I liked having a few for special occasions, but preferred the soft, modal fabric sleep and plays for everyday.
Accessories (infant shoes, etc): come on now, y’all! My kid didn’t wear shoes until he was like 8 months old.
4 THINGS YOU DON’T NEED RIGHT AWAY
This might just be a me thing, but one of the things I struggled with in assembling a baby registry was the knowledge that there were likely things I wouldn’t need for months, if not years. I don’t have a ton of storage space, and just wanted to be mindful about what and when I purchased things myself, or receiving gifts that would just sit around.
A perfectly complete nursery: this might be controversial, but our kiddo slept in his bassinet in our room until he was about 4 months old. I felt *so much pressure* to have a perfectly assembled nursery before we brought him home from the hospital, but in reality we had so much time. We added a rug, a play mat, a bookshelf, and a number of other items in between the time we brought him home and when he actually “lived” in his room, largely because I was tired of buying things while I was pregnant and just didn’t care that much. It will be fine!
Toys: I was extremely resistant to a lot of toys (see again about the clutter), especially since newborns really don’t do much at the beginning. I opted to pick one or two developmentally appropriate items when we got to new stages, rather than loading up on toys from the jump. (editor's note: i still somehow hove entirely too many toys now, despite actively trying to avoid that fate).
High chair: I was so happy to have our high chair, but we didn’t even unpack and assemble it until the baby was 5 months old.
Solid feeding accessories: similarly with the high chair: we didn’t start introducing solids until after 5 months, and only really got into him eating food (as opposed to you know, playing with it) after about 7.5 months. Bibs, spoons, plates, cups, etc. are all lovely gifts but just know you’ll need somewhere to put them until then!
I ASKED, YOU ANSWERED:
These tips and recommendations are from my experience as a first time mom who exclusively breastfeed, lives in a single family home in a city, and who (attempts?) to be a minimalist. I did want to round out my recs with a poll of the earlybird community because y’all have excellent taste.
General Infant Care:
Diapers. You can never go wrong with more diapers. I had friends who did a “huggies and chuggies” shower for the dad where all the attendees brought beer and a package of diapers. icon behavior, if you have the space for all of them at once!
Aquaphor by the vat (lol +1)
Teether toys
Carriers & Wraps: Hands free forever! Y’all recommend a bunch of different ones:
Artipoppe
WildBird Aerial and Sling Ring (+1 from me this is my recommendation!)
Baby K’tan wrap
Sleep Stuff: Recommendations here were super consistent:
Lightweight / Moveable Bassinet (esp good if you want to be able to move little one around the house with you early on)
Snoo (ugh again, can co-sign. I bought ours used for a major discount and it was amazing).
Multiple sets of crib sheets
Halo Swaddles and sleep sacks (double zippers!)
Strollers: Biggest emphasis here is that you select one that fits your lifestyle!
Uppa Baby Vista (can co-sign. I have this one and begrudgingly love it) - this one is more heavy duty, harder to assemble but it's a really pleasant walking experience.
Doona - a 2 in 1 car-seat + stroller combo that eases transitions. The people who have this LOVE IT I got so many recommendations for this.
Clothing: Biggest through line on clothes is that ease is the most important thing. Double zippers, magnetic closures, soft, stretchy fabrics all trump fussy and fashionable.
Sleepers with two-way zips
“Literally any size that isn’t NB”
Feeding
If formula feeding:
Brezza Bottle Washer Pro (also recommended for those exclusively pumping!)
If nursing:
Gifts for parents:
Gift cards for food delivery
Post-natal massage
Setting up Mealtrain delivery
what advice would you give for baby registry items - must haves, or absolutely nots? Advice for new parents? for friends of people about to be new parents?
Comments are open to all today, so would love to hear from you!
For paid subscribers, below; sharing my personal pride and joy – the ultimate baby prep lists, including the full spreadsheet of baby registry recommendations by category, my hospital packing list, and the postpartum prep items I received as a gift that I cannot recommend highly enough.
I told y’all I did *so much research*, and the proof is always in the spreadsheet. I originally pulled this spreadsheet together while I was building my own registry, and over the last 18 months have updated and revised it based on our experiences. The spreadsheet includes:
Summary of recommended items by category (consolidated from ALL the different lists online) to give a single list of different items.
The items we chose (and other products we considered)
Age rages we used the products
Priority of items
My notes and comments on each product and our experience with them
Also included in the link:
A minimalist hospital bag checklist for chronic overpackers. Sharing what I packed for myself, what we brought for the baby, and what my husband brought (or wished he did!). As someone who packed the day we went to the hospital, don’t be like me!
The postpartum recovery prep I *didn’t know* I needed: One of the best gifts I received during my pregnancy wasn't anything from my registry, and wasn’t for the baby at all. Instead, a friend asked if she could send me a few things which made up the most thoughtful PP recovery kit I could have ever asked for. It was all the things I didn’t know I needed and it made my recovery so much easier.
I’m so emotional about this gift (still) that I have started doing the same, just delivering friends a bag or set of things before they deliver. I think it is so thoughtful, and a small way to pay forward the new mom knowledge.
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