second rodeo
What my second pregnancy taught me about accepting help, choosing the thing you actually want, and giving yourself permission to enjoy the experience.
I’ve been dutifully working through all the films I missed in theaters last year and was completely unprepared for how much I loved Sentimental Value. The Norwegian film from Joachim Trier (of The Worst Person in the World) follows two sisters navigating a fraught relationship with their estranged filmmaker father. It’s a quiet, devastating, commentary on complicated family dynamics and the sentimental value of the spaces and history we share. Renate Reinsve is extraordinary.
I was delighted to receive PR from the recently launched K-beauty brand Lazy Skinscience which focuses on doing less without sacrificing results. The Double Duty Serum Moisturizer duo has equal parts red camellia serum and hydrating squalene moisturizer in the same jar for an effortless, one step routine that hydrates, brightens and strengths skin. An ideal product for a phase of life when the ten-step routine simply isn’t happening.
I sort of hate that I am loving the new FX series Love Story (streaming on Hulu) about John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy – I am firmly in the “leave these people alone” camp… but also can’t help but be struck by the glamor and mess of it all. In particular am loving the music editing and the vibes of New York in the 90s.
This post has been sitting half-formed in my notes app for months. I knew my second pregnancy would be different than the first… I just didn’t know how. A few months out from delivery, I have finally distilled the five things I did differently this time – and what they all had in common.
Some of these are pretty me-specific (I am who I am!) and some of them feel much more generalizable. But whether you are newly pregnant, considering another, or wondering whether being a parent is right for you at all, it’s my hope that some of this hard earned wisdom will be helpful!
Let’s get into it,
I muscled through my first pregnancy and postpartum. I felt perfectly capable, and had a (relatively) easy time with most things, so I had a hard time justifying asking for or accepting help. Pregnancy and postpartum can be pretty lonely and isolating, and looking back, I realize that despite not needing it, I wished I’d had more of it.
The second time around I had a much harder pregnancy, struggling with both hyperemesis gravidum and pain associated with SI joint dysfunction. I was also lucky enough to have a much stronger community around me – friends who knew about my fertility journey, other parents from our neighborhood and school community, reliable babysitters to help with my son. Despite my discomfort and desire not to burden anyone, I asked for and accepted offers of help much more freely this time, and it made all the difference.
