I’ll keep this brief: I usually read between 35 and 55 books a year, and one of my favorite activities is meticulously researching new books to add to my elaborate library holds system so that I have at least one book available at *all times*. Add in the fact that I *live* for the perfect recommendation (exhibit A, exhibit B, and exhibit C) and y’all it’s time for the annual *extremely specific summer reading list*.

We’re going for books that suit extremely specific moods, situations and vibes with a TL;DR description to keep things simple and streamlined to make finding your next page turner as easy and fun as possible.

I will warn you: extremely specific means extremely.specific. I am who I am, and you won’t catch me generically calling rom-coms the beach read of the summer. There are lots of lists for that – this is not one of them. I firmly believe any book is a perfect beach read, so prepare for a list full of literary fiction, complex female characters, and complicated family dynamics.

Without further ado – can’t wait to hear what you’re reading first!

That’s it, love you!

If you’re new here: this category is a constant. There’s crime, there are long hidden secrets, there is occasional weirdness. Feels like the natural next step for the girls that moved on from true crime but still enjoy planned, contained discomfort and the perspective it provides.

A Good Man is Hard to Find (and other stories) by Flannery O’Conner. A classic short story collection full of moral fiction, religious symbolism, apocalyptic possibility, and the tragic comedy of human behavior.

The Frenzy by Joyce Carol Oates. A short story collection, this time plunging the reader into the lives of characters at a moment of crisis and confusion. These stories touch on our deepest fears and most perilous choices. Release date: June 16, 2026. One of my most anticipated reads of the year!

A Guide To Being Born by Ramona Ausubel. Another short story collection, exploring the power of transformation around deeply life altering events - falling in love, becoming a parent, and facing the end of life.

The Good Eye by Jess Gibson. Yet another short story collection, packed with startling and spellbinding tales where nothing - intention or appearances - is as it seems.

Whidbey by T Kira Madden. A complicated whodunit told from the point of view of three women connected by an abusive man in the aftermath of his murder. Touches on violence and the flawed systems of incarceration, rehabilitation, and the power of story.

Close Relationships with Strangers by Krista Diamond. When an A-Lister is embroiled in a sex scandal, one of the last remaining paparazzi in Los Angeles begins an obsessive pursuit to get close to him. Publication date: June 23, 2026.

Bad Fruit by Ella King. A recent high school graduate spends a sweltering summer with her volatile and elusive parents in London. She uncovers horrifying family secrets and is finally set free in this exploration of mothers and daughters, trauma and breaking cycles.

If there is one thing you should know about me, it’s that I love writing that thoughtfully (and critically) considers the world around us — especially when it comes to wellness, class, social media, technology and pop culture. I find these books enjoyable, and also that they broaden my perspective as I try to figure out how to operate in an increasingly complicated world.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. A beautiful man wishes to stay eternally youthful, as he pursues a life of pleasure and debauchery. His wish is granted, but each moral transgression he makes is reflected on the face of his portrait, becoming more and more disfigured. A classic for a reason!

Pool House by The daughter of an out-of-work actress pushes to distance and differentiate herself from her aging, addict mother. As they move into the pool house in the backyard while the “Big House” is rented out to pay the bills, they navigate class, fame, sexuality and grief.

What A Time To Be Alive by Jade Chang. When an unexpectedly viral video launches Lola into internet fame she takes advantage of the opportunity to become a self-help guru. She begins to help others find their path, even as she struggles to find her own.

Tell Your Friends Lauren Wilson. The daughter of a family vlog channel sees college as her way out – until a new friend and aspiring journalist becomes desperate to stop her from shattering the family’s curated image.

Fallow Camille Perri. A young woman struggling to make ends meet signs up to be one of the world’s first corporate in-house surrogates. What seems like a dream job becomes an unnerving social experiment that leads her to question her future, her freedom, and her life’s purpose. Release date: September 15, 2026.

Trad Wife by Sarah Anderson. A desperate journalist looks to profile the “trad wife queen” of social media to salvage her own career. But something is decidedly wrong, and the longer she spends at the farmhouse, the more she starts to worry she’s losing her mind. I’m extremely excited about this – about time someone made a trad wife story into the horror it deserves to be! Release date: September 29, 2026.

Just Watch Me by Lior Torenberg. A woman livestreams her life for seven days and seven nights to attempt to raise money to save her sister from being taken off life support. As her success increases, her behavior becomes more extreme and begins to risk everything.

In Her Defense by Philippa Malicka. A beloved TV star has accused a therapist of brainwashing her daughter, and the high-stakes trial is captivating the country. A former assistant is the only one with answers, but she can’t reveal them without ruining her own life.

Ungodly Rich by Katherine McGee. A reimagining of ancient Greek Myths with an unsuspecting woman who is pulled into the orbit of a family of billionaires who are actually the gods in disguise. Secrets, lies, and drama ensue.

Consider this category as part of overlapping venn diagrams between “dark weird and thought provoking” and “hot people, bad decisions” - we support women’s rights (and wrongs) here at earlybird!

Heather Caitlin Mullen. A small town detective reopens a decades old missing persons case about two twin sisters, upending the town and everything she thought she knew.

Brutes by Dizz Tate. A coming of age story about the violence, horrors and manic joys of girlhood – The Virgin Suicides meets The Florida Project.

My Nemesis by Charmaine Craig. A successful writer befriends a handsome scholar – but when she meets (and scoffs at) his traditional and subservient wife, she finds unexpected consequences. A story of seduction, envy, and the ways we define and deceive ourselves.

Old Flame by Molly Prentiss. An unfulfilled writer faces an unplanned pregnancy, forcing her to make choices about what to sacrifice from her old life to make room for a new one.

Workhorse by Caroline Palmer. An ambitious editorial assistant at a fashion magazine isn’t wealthy or well connected enough to achieve her goals, until she begins crossing boundaries and taking risks. The Devil Wears Prada meets The Talented Mr. Ripley.

Lady X by Molly Fader. A multigenerational saga of female rage: A woman flees her husband’s scandal by returning to her childhood home, where she finds evidence of a mysterious vigilante who looks mysteriously like her mother. Release Date: July 14, 2026.

With Friends Like You by Amy Chozick. An unmoored new mother in NYC becomes fixated on finding her missing college roommate who vanished after taking a job dancing at a strip club. When the roommate reappears, the obsession and tenuous friendship pushes them all to the edge.

Darkening Song by Delphine Seddon. When a young intern at a recording studio discovers a generational talent online she offers to be her manager. The whirlwind of fame, parties, money and power bond them together… and blind them to the increasingly darkening reality of the industry and their own friendship.

Like This, But Funnier by Hallie Cantor. A woman pitches a tv show based on her therapist husband’s (very real) patients, blurring the lines between art and life.

The Future Perfect by Cay Kim. A young woman grows up between cultures, struggling to succeed and navigating an increasingly complex relationship with her mother. An investigation of love, girlhood, family, and the dreams our mothers have for us.

Nerve Damage by Annakeara Stinson. At the expiration date of her restraining order, a woman sees a man who looks suspiciously like her stalker-ex. She takes increasingly unhinged steps to determine if it’s him as reality and perception begin to blur.

The Afterpains by Anna Julia Stainsby. A mulit-POV account of two families coping with grief, isolation and living thousands of miles away from their homelands.

Weather by Jenny Offill. A struggling graduate student turned unofficial therapist to her former mentor’s podcast listeners struggles to find optimism and reasons for being as she becomes increasingly obsessed with disaster psychology and end of the world prepping.

My Husband by Maud Ventura. A woman is obsessed with her husband of 15 years – but is not convinced he returns her feelings. She becomes more and more desperate to be sure of his love, until one day she goes too far.

And Then She Fell by Alicia Elliott. A new mother with a seemingly perfect life struggles to come to grips with her life postpartum, becoming increasingly convinced that her writing is the answer to the strange things that begin happening.

The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy. Following five black women over the course of their 20+ year friendship as they navigate the wilderness of their 20s, 30s, and beyond through political upheaval, economic instability and increasing volatility.

Sometimes you just need a book about a family more complicated than your own – love, resentment, obligation, and all the weird stuff in between. Whether it’s Big Feelings about motherhood, relationship dynamics between siblings or long held family secrets, no one knows how to push your buttons more than the people who installed them.

Private Rites by Julia Armfield. Three sisters reunite after their father’s death to sort through his secrets, until an unexpected revelation in his will shatters their bond. The aftermath spins out of control in this modern retelling of King Lear.

Worry by Alexandra Tanner. Two sisters-turned-roommates navigate a tumultuous year filled with parasocial internet follows, parents caught up in deep-state internet conspiracies, and other stumbling blocks on the road to adulthood.

Show, Don’t Tell by Curtis Sittenfeld. A short story collection exploring themes of marriage, friendship, fame and middle age.

Children By Melissa Albert. What would you do if your mother stole your life? The estranged children of a famous author contend with the fact that she wrote their childhoods into her beloved fantasy series, asking questions about memory, reality, and ownership.

Dominion By Addie E. Citchens. The Reverend of Dominion, Mississippi, is not as righteous as he seems to be. When his son is caught up in an encounter with a stranger, the truth threatens to come out.

Foster by Claire Keegan. A neglected child in rural Ireland is taken in by distant relatives, and slowly begins to blossom — but the unspoken reason for her stay threatens the love and stability she longs for.

Confessions by Catherine Airey. A story of family told through three generations of women in Ireland as decades of secrets are uncovered in their attic.

Buckeye by Patrick Ryan. Two families become entwined over decades after a single moment in the aftermath of the allied victory in Europe. The complex secret plays out over decades, impacting each other and the next generation.

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Spectacular Things by Beck Dorey- Stein. Two sisters grapple with the legacy of their mother while navigating love, ambition, loyalty and self-sabotage – the impossible choice we make as we pursue our dreams.

Chosen Family by Madeline Gray. At an elite all girls prep school, the relationship between two girls becomes a messy friendship, feud, and unrequited love affair that lasts nearly 20 years. Release Date: July 14, 2026.

I’m Sorry You Feel That Way by Rebecca Wait. Told between two funerals, two generations of sisters grapple with family dynamics, mental illness, and repeating cycles. Release date: September 1, 2026.

This Is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman. Two sisters, mourning the passing of the third, have a misunderstanding that results in a decade of silence that their children and grandchildren refuse to get involved in.

Ghost Forest by Pik Shuen Fung. After the death of her father, a young immigrant from Hong Kong to Canada struggles to grieve in a family that doesn’t discuss their feelings.

Sisters by Daisy Johnson. Following a bullying incident, two increasingly isolated sisters struggle to know where one ends and the other begins. As they increasingly push boundaries and wrestle with their worst impulses, they uncover shocking truths about their past.

Ghost Roots by Pemi Aguda. A collection of short stories that investigate the myth, legacy, gender and tradition in Nigerian society.

Summer is a perfect time to immerse yourselves in other people’s mess; Beautiful people making catastrophic decisions in stunning locales. Affairs and angst. Complex interpersonal relationships, unreliable narrators and questionable plot devices. Bonus points for extreme wealth and loudly hissing “don’t do it” while you read. A particularly satisfying summer category because mess and literature are not mutually exclusive.

Seduction Theory by Emily Adrian. Two married professors’ extramarital affairs become the center of an explosive campus scandal, weaving a story of power, attraction, love and betrayal.

They All Fall In Love In The End by Halli Blassingam. A woman in an open relationship accidentally falls for the only two people who are off limits. She is determined to have it all, or ruin her life trying.

Skin Contact by Elisa Faison. A woman reeling from her mother’s death suggests opening her marriage, resulting in a tumultuous five year experiment. – Release Date: June 23, 2026.

Wasp’s Nest by Kat Stoddard. A love triangle unfolds over the course of seven days at a Cape Cod wedding, between the bride, her ex… and his much younger plus one. Release date: June 30, 2026.

One of us by Elizabeth Day. When the eccentric older daughter of a powerful family is found dead, suspicion swirls around them and those in their orbit. Like The Wedding People meets Succession.

The Ten Year Affair by Erin Somers. The ten year relationship (both real and hypothetical) between two young parents happily married to other people. One of my favorite books of 2025.

A genre that explores possibilities and impossibilities of the world around us, often incorporating elements of science fiction or futurism, alternate history, horror and social commentary. This is my personal favorite kind of book, and there are a lot of them, so I broke the list up into related topics!

Homebound by Portia Elan. Four lives across time are entangled by an unfinished story saved to a floppy disk in the 1980s.

Light Breakers by Aja Gabel. An artist and a quantum physicist’s happy marriage is shadowed by the husband’s dead child by his first wife. When he’s invited to work on a secretive time travel project in the desert, the couple considers the impact of time on their biggest heartbreaks.

The Book of Guilt by Catherine Chidgey. In an alternate universe where no one won WWII, a set of triplets are the last residents at a countryside orphanage taking medicine to fend off a mysterious illness that has claimed nearly all of their friends. As they learn the horrifying truth about their origins, they must unite to escape and survive.

Sublimation by Isabel J. Kim: When people immigrate to a new country, the border splits them in two, leaving one copy trapped in the life they leave behind. Read if you’re a fan of : Severance

Elsewhere, by Alexis Schaitkin. An isolated community in the mountains has an unsettling history as girls become women and wives and mothers, some of these mothers simply disappear. A young woman grieves her own mother’s disappearance, and, upon becoming a mother, wonders if and when she will disappear as well.

The Underground Railroad, by Colson Whitehead. An alternate take on history following a young girl’s flight from the south via a real underground train network that ferries enslaved people to freedom.

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How High We Go in The Dark by Sequonia Nagamatsu. In 2030, an ancient virus is released from the arctic. Told in intricately linked stories over hundreds of years as humanity struggles to rebuild itself from a world-altering plague.

What We Can Know by Ian McEwan. 100 years in the future when much of the world has been decimated by rising seas and a catastrophic nuclear incident, survivors are haunted by the world and culture that has been lost. A lonely academic begins a literary detective hunt about a poem written and performed - then lost forever – in 2014.

Earth 7 by Deb Olin Unferth. Facing climate catastrophe, Earth is depopulated - some off to mars, some abandoning their lives to digital code. The remaining holdouts navigate love, hope for the future, and questions of consciousness.

Zone One by Colson Whitehead: After a global plague ravishes the world and leaves behind feral zombies, a civilian team is tasked with clearing lower Manhattan of stragglers. Despite the mundane mission, things start to go terribly wrong.

Oryx & Crake, by Margaret Atwood. In a world where the population has been wiped out by a plague, the last man alive grapples with his role in the downfall of society, and the pressure to establish a new world.

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa, translated by Stephen Snyder. On an unnamed island, objects disappear – and when they do, most residents forget them forever. The few who remember live in fear of the Memory Police who exist to ensure the lost remains forgotten.

Prophet Song, by Paul Lynch. In a near future Ireland sliding into authoritarianism, a scientist and her family watch as political violence escalates around them.

Bewilderment by Richard Powers. An astrobiologist enrolls his troubled son in an experimental AI-neural feedback program to allow him to get closer to his deceased mother’s mind in hopes of bolstering his emotional regulation.

Who Knows You By Heart by C.J. Farley. A broke Jamaican American ditches her non-profit job for the lure of a high paying gig at a big tech company. When she is recruited to work on an AI-powered storytelling project programmed to be free of racist and sexist biases, she dives in with excitement until her team discovers a toxic secret.

Love is an Algorithm by Laura Brooke Robson. When the founder of a dating app starts dating a passionate musician, his anxieties about the health of the relationship inspire an AI powered version of his app to quantify relationship health and potential. As the app catches fire, their relationship suffers.

The This by Adam Roberts. Smart technology and AI have infiltrated every aspect of society, including The This, a social media platform injected into and operating within your brain.

Under the Eye of the Big Bird by Hiromi Kawakami, translated by Asa Yoneda: Facing extinction, AI “mothers” oversee reproduction, raise children, and manage the evolution of mankind.

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Ee don’t do a ton of traditional summery rom-com romance novels over here at earlybird HQ, but I can always get behind yearning and emotional damage – more slow burns, soul ties and karmic debts, than meet-cutes. Romance is part of the plot, but it’s not the *only* plot.

Early Thirties by Josh Duboff. Two best friends in NYC are reach their thirties and their changing phase of life puts a strain on their friendship as they both desperately try to determine who they want to become.

Go Gentle by Maria Semple. A stoic philosopher has a mid-life revolution after a chance meeting with a handsome stranger and becomes consumed by desire – and willing to risk everything for it.

Heart the Lover by Lily King. An intricate love triangle in college spins out into a decades long tangle of friendship, passion, inspiration and heartache. A quick and beautiful read.

Girl’s Girl by Sonia Feldman. Told over one infinite summer when everything feels urgent, permanent and fleeting, an unexpected kiss between two out of three best friends throws everything they know about life, each other, and themselves into question. Ps: check out my interview with Sonia here!

Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley. Told over a decade in the early 2000s, chronicling the twisting creative partnership between a songwriter and his muse. Their chemistry keeps them circling each other’s orbit, sparking new passions, heartbreaks, and inspiration, with “will they or won’t they” an always present question.

The Favorites by Layne Fargo. A figure skating pair working to escape their turbulent childhoods go from childhood sweethearts to champion ice dancers, but a shocking incident at the Olympics brings their partnership to a sudden halt. A decade later, an unauthorized documentary reignites public interest in their partnership, and uncovers old wounds.

Homeseeking Karissa Chen. A generational drama following one couple from World War II to 2008 as six decades of tumultuous events in Chinese history pull them apart, change them, and bring them back together. Read if you’re a fan of: Past Lives.

Thirst for Salt by Madelaine Lucas. A young woman on holiday with her mother begins an affair with a man twenty years her senior, kicking off a summer of intimacy, stability, and questions about the life she has, versus the one she thinks she wants.

Kingfisher by Rozie Kelly. A creative writing academic becomes infatuated with a poet who is not his partner. As his obsession grows, he is forced to confront the consequences of his choices and their impact on the lives of everyone around him.

There’s Going to Be Trouble by Jen Silverman. Decades apart, two quiet, apolitical academics are drawn into relationships with fiery activists in the present day in the 1960s. Both sets of start crossed romances have explosive consequences, igniting passion and politics, while revealing long held family secrets.

If summer isn’t for affairs and angst, then it’s for an exotic getaway – real or imagined. I love books that can mentally transport you to another location through vivid descriptions of time and place that are central to the writing and the plot. These stories are perfect for a mental vacation, even if you’re not jetting off anywhere this summer!

June Baby by Shannon Garvey. After her mother’s death, a young woman is sent off to Block Island where she finds refuge, beauty, creativity, and even first love. A decade later, she must reexamine what she knows about her past, and decide which direction to take her future.

Tender Is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Set in the French Riviera in the Jazz age following the glamorous rise and tragic decline of a wealthy, mentally ill woman and her psychiatrist husband.

The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith. A young social climber is hired to bring a prodigal son back from Italy – but his increasing fascination becomes dark and obsessive. The movie is a classic, but the book is phenomenal.

Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurty. Two retired Rangers take a cattle drive from Texas to Montana, facing danger and adventure in the American West

People Watching in the Desert by Cali Adeline. When an unexpected windfall pushes a lonely young woman out of her comfort zone and into a high end resort, where she navigates attentive staff, eccentric fellow guests, and a potential romance. Release Date: July 14, 2026.

Clutch by Emily Nemens. A friend group of nearly 20 years gathers for a weekend in Palm Springs where they navigate personal and professional tumult.

Sunrise by Tea Obreht. Release Date: Sunrise, Wyoming is a western cowboy town at the heart of a ghost story – the story unfolds between three strangers over 100 years. August 11, 2026.

Fairfield County by DeLana R.A. Dameron. A family saga about the legacy of Southern Black cowboys, following four generations of horsemen and women in South Carolina, celebrating their deep connection to the land and their horses.

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Same, same, but different. These novels are a journey not only to another place, but also another time entirely.

The Lost Book of Lancelot by John Glynn. A queer reimagining of the legend of Lancelot, detailing his journey to becoming the famed Knight of the Round Table. Okay medieval myths are historical-ish! Recommend for fans of The Song Of Achilles.

Angel Down by Daniel Kraus. Soldiers in World War I are tasked with entering “no man’s land” to euthanize a fallen soldier – instead they find a fallen angel, who may be key to ending the war.

Land by Maggie O’Farrell. Set in the aftermath of the Great Hunger in 1890s Ireland follows a cartographer employed by the British. He has a mystical experience that sets him on a new journey to reclaim the land through the documentation of Irish history, language and culture.

Playworld by Adam Ross. Set in NYC in the 1980s, A 14 year old struggles to balance his role on a hit TV show with the pressure of hit elite high school. The increasing pressure leads him into an inappropriate relationship with a friend of his parents.

The Half Life by Rachel Beanland. A Navy wife finds herself on a tiny Mediterranean island where her husband works on a Nuclear Submarine. Soon, she faces simmering political tensions, potential nuclear contamination, and shifting loyalties. Release Date: SetJuly 14, 2026.

Fruit of the Flesh by I.V. Ophelia. Set in New York in the Gilded Age, A former ballerina marries a struggling sculptor in a marriage of convenience that soon shifts into something much darker.

Where the Girls Were by Kate Schatz. In 1960s San Francisco, a once-promising young woman is sent to a home for unwed mothers, highlighting how the sexual revolution and feminist movement collided with the limits of reproductive rights.

They’re Going to Love You by Meg Howrey. Set in 1980s New York in the backdrop of the AIDS crisis, a choreographer estranged from her father looks back on their relationship in her youth, and the betrayal that tore them apart.

The Mercy Step by Marcia Hutchinson. The daughter of a Jamaican family in 1960s England navigates cycles of abuse, religious beliefs, resilience and survival.

Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart. Set in 1990s Glasgow, a teenage boy navigates poverty, family dysfunction, sectarian violence and queer romance in an emotionally devastating coming of age.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. When a young man is thrown in prison for a crime he has not committed, it begins a twenty year journey of escape, treasure, reinvention and revenge. Had to include the classic!

There is absolutely no reason that the culty, supernatural, spooky, and otherwise unsettling should be confined to October. Get scared while the sun still shines.

The Unworthy by Agustina Bazierrica. In a world plagued with catastrophe, a woman is cloistered in a secretive, violent, religious order. When a stranger enters their midst, she begins to question her reality.

Paper Cut by Rachel Taff. A true-crime icon famous for escaping a cult twenty years ago becomes the subject of a documentary. Returning to the scene of the crime, and desperate to fend off the increasingly threatening questions of online sleuths, she must face how far she’s willing to go to protect her story.

Little One by . A woman confronts her dark past when a journalist discovers her connection to the cult where she grew up.

A Good Person by Kirsten King. A young woman blindsided by a breakup decides to hex her ex – only to become the prime suspect when he’s found dead.

The Unknown by Riley Sager. A group of actors arrive on a mysterious island to research the mysterious disappearances at a commune of spiritual mystics over 100 years ago – but when an accident leaves them stranded, the disappearances begin again. Release date: August 4, 2026.

The Supper Club Saints by Claire Swinarski. A young mother returns home after living in a cult-like commune under the spell of a mommy influencer where she, her sister and her mother explore their own definition of what it means to be a “good mom”.

Muñeca by Cynthia Gomez. In 1960s Oakland, a young, queer, Latine witch works to save a young heiress – at her own peril.

Dead Beat by Leigh Bardugo. A misfit academic and her allies fight demons, vampires and corruption on Yale’s Campus. The conclusion to the Ninth House Trilogy - highly recommend if you have not already started this series! Release Date: September 15, 2026.

The Emilys by Heather Abel. A small New England town becomes obsessed with finding the cure for a mysterious ailment spreading in their community that causes those affected to become reclusive. Release date: June 16, 2026.

The Great Wherever by Shannon Sanders. A woman inherits her family’s farm and moves home to escape her ghosts – only to realize the farm is haunted by her ancestors. She must weigh a potential sale of the farm with the hopes and burdens of those who came before her. Release Date: July 7, 2026.

Night Songs by Alli Dyer. On her 18th birthday, a young woman learns that her mother was one of country music’s most iconic artists. Desperate to learn more, she soon uncovers her mother’s belief that the women in their family are cursed to die at 33, kicking off a race against the clock to find answers.

The Devil Knows Her Name by C.N. Vair. A dying woman makes a deal with the devil, leaving herself ageless and tied to protect and serve an isolated Appalachian town. A series of unnatural events threaten the sanctuary she’s built, and puts her in a position where she must risk it all to save her community, or make a far more sinister deal. Release date: August 25, 2026.

Accumulation by Aimee Pokwatka. A filmmaker turned housewife moves into her dream home, but when unusual and unsettling events start to escalate, she must determine if it’s the house – or her that is haunted. A twisty look at the prices women pay for domesticity and motherhood.

If the Dead Belong Here by Carson Faust. When a young Native American girl goes missing, her shattered family begins to have nightmares about her disappearance that blur the line between dreams and reality. Guided by the elders, they must lay family secrets to rest in order to find the missing girl.

We Already Dug The Grave by Emma C. Wells. Two estranged sisters are reunited to plot a murder, forcing them to face secrets (and other bodies) from their past. Release Date: September 8, 2026.

Solace House by Will Maclean. A poor college student takes a summer job cleaning out a Victorian Mansion, where secrets, missing persons, and mysterious realms abound. Release Date: October 13, 2026.

Nothing explores the fundamental questions of what it is to be alive, to create, and how we make and find meaning in it all like books about people Going Through It on the journey to make Art. A collection of the strange, complicated dynamics that arise around artists, writers, and other creatives.

The Book Of Goose by Yiyun Li. Children in a backwater French town ravaged by WWII create an elaborate literary hoax that spirals out of their control. The propulsive story investigates their friendship, art, creation, fame and loss.

Strange Girls by Sarvat Hasin. Estranged friends and former creative partners come back together after a decade and must confront what they are (were?) to one another.

Lucid Dreams by Daphne Palasi Andreades. A disillusioned artist crashes after the success of their first novel, and becomes plagued by mysterious visions and psychological, artistic, and spiritual challenges that drive writer’s block. An exploration of modern womanhood, and the tension between art and capitalism. Release date: October 27,2026.

Minor Black Figures by Brandon Taylor. A painter finds himself creatively blocked and spends a summer questioning life, beauty, god, sex, art, and what it means to be a black artist making black art.

Kitten by Stacy Yu. A recent college graduate, desperate to escape the looming demands of adulthood, becomes increasingly obsessed with her boyfriend’s cat while on vacation with his family.

Sirens & Muses by Antonia Angress. Set against the backdrop of the early 2010s recession and occupy Wall Street, four artists at an elite art college find themselves in a web of rivalry and desire while they attempt to understand identity, authenticity, joy and failure.

Stoner by John Williams. An English professor from humble beginnings finds his advancement through society to be a series of disappointments as he confronts love, loss, and the meaning of an ordinary life.

Daughter by Claudia Dey. The daughter of a famous playwright strives to stand apart, looking to understand who she is and her ability to make art out from underneath his shadow.

Good News by Alexa Yasmin Brahme. In the competitive world of contemporary art, pushed and pulled by the expectations of an immigrant family, an artist begins to question not only her art, but the life she is trying to build.

okay that is MORE than enough from me, y’all! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you: what are you reading???! what (if anything!) did I miss that you wholeheartedly recommend???

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A slightly unsettling “dead internet” -related round up for your morning:

🤖 The Feed Is Fake (Vulture, by Lane Brown): It’s time to reconsider everything you think you know about “virality”. Turns out almost every major trend or groundswell of “public sentiment” is driven by stealth “clipping” campaigns that cost about a dollar per thousand views.

📱 None of this is Real by . A wonderful essay on the “spidey sense of flatness” one feels while navigating the overwhelming swell of AI generated content on the internet. From waves of bot comments on social channels and blogs, fake business selling fake services via AI generated emails, and people using ChatGPT to amuse themselves to death… how much longer can we stay here?

💻 Algorithmic Monocultures in Hiring (Stanford Digital Economy Lab): A recent study showed that increasingly, employers are using the same few screening algorithms. These algorithms retain applicant rankings across applications and companies, sometimes for as long as 300 days. The result? Applicants are being blanket rejected without a human ever seeing their resume – sometimes because of the way an application they submitted somewhere else nearly a year ago was rated.

🤷🏻‍♂️ Men aren’t needed anymore, and they’re struggling to adapt to being wanted - A sharp commentary on how men were once needed (for survival, protection, money) and must now be wanted for who they are rather than what they provide. Women were long taught to maximize desirability, but men were never required to develop that same skill – and now there’s a huge gap.

🗃️ How to edit your phone, your files, and all the digital clutter in between - A strategic and structured process for curtailing digital clutter.

🚲 Emily Oster and a Weight Watchers exec talked about exercise—and it got weird - . On how easily “wellness” can smuggle in diet-culture scripts, and why the way we model movement for our kids still matters.

What have you been reading lately? Drop your favorites below — I’m always collecting. 👇

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My first year of college in Boston, I experienced the first bout of what I now refer to as “sunshine guilt” – the pervasive, unsettling sense of dread and guilt you feel when you are indoors on an objectively beautiful day. After a long, dark, snowy winter, and a grey and slushy spring, the arrival of blue skies, green grass, and moderate temperatures hit like a siren song. As I trudged across campus to study at the library, I would find myself overcome with urgency – with the need to hurry up and so I could get outside and enjoy the good weather before it was gone.

I had a brief reprieve from this experience while living in Los Angeles (it’s hard to feel that kind of urgency 325 days a year) but it’s a constant feature of summers in Seattle. It’s a rhythm I love about this corner of the world: ebbs and flows of life that feel in tune with the natural world. The gentle pull of blue skies to nudge everyone out of their homes and into the lush abundance of summer.

May’s digest is full to the brim with similar energy – books with the spirit of early summer, recipes full of seasonal produce, and a few recs to make spending time outside more comfortable.

Okay that’s it, love you!

• what i wore (when nothing in my closet fit) - a week of outfits in my life navigating postpartum body changes with minimal spending

• level up your at home coffee (without breaking the bank) - because in this economy, we have coffee at home.

• practice how you want to play - family camping trip with two littles, loving lately, and other bts updates.

• strong as a mother - what I wish I knew (and what I’m doing now) for pregnancy and postpartum fitness.

• anti-doomscroll reading list, vol. 1 - a new series! Quick and dirty reading recs to stop the scroll

• coffee with...anna maltby - an unlikely fitness expert on being brave enough to try something you’re bad at, and the marriage advice she’s glad she took.

• coffee with... kaitlyn elizabeth - an off-duty therapist on pop culture, modern mental health, and on relationships over miracles.

books

I had a very light reading month, largely due to the sheer volume of events, activities and visitors. Did manage to tear through The Singer’s Gun by Emily St. John Mandel (reviewed here), a quick and delicious page turner about a man striving to move beyond his previous life of crime. I also loved the sapphic coming-of-age novel Girl’s Girl by Sonia Feldman (review + author interview here!) as a perfect read for the beginning of summer and pride!

Currently Reading: Land by Maggie O’Farrell. A historical novel set in the aftermath of the Great Hunger in 1890s Ireland follows a cartographer employed by the British. He has a mystical experience that sets him on a new journey to reclaim the land through the documentation of Irish history, language and culture. I’m about a third of the way through, and can’t put it down.

Up Next: Whidbey by T Kira Madden. (I have this on hardcopy vs. audiobook and had much less “sit down and read” time this month, but can’t wait to come back to this!).

INTRODUCING: THE EARLYBIRD BOOK CLUB! I heard y’all loud and clear that you’re interested in a dedicated post-style book club for late June / early July.

Please vote on which book you’d like to read and discuss!

kids books

We went hard on non-fiction books this month – my very curious engineer in training has been very into math, counting and patterns, so we leaned in. Absolutely loved Master Math: Get to Know Numbers and Get In Shape by Anjana Chatterjee. Both are exceptional for teaching counting and math adjacent concepts with great visuals and engaging opportunities to practice. We also loved the fun and silly Trillions of Trees by Kurt Cyrus that combines big number concepts with some fun nature and conservancy lessons.

On the fiction side, Tomorrow I’ll be Brave by Jessica Hische is a sweet bedtime book with a supportive lesson about how tomorrow brings new chances to be the person you want to be. Busy Spring, Nature Wakes Up By Sean Taylor, Alex Morss, and Cinyee Chiu, was a lovely celebration of springtime and seasonal transitions. Finally, On the Other Side of the Forestby Nadine Robert & Gerard Dubois might be on the fast track for one of my favorite kids books of the year. It’s a little dark and weird, but tells the story of a bunny and his father who work together with their community to overcome adversity, reach their goals, and connect with others. The illustrations are excellent.

It took a very strong stomach and several days to make it through the BBC adaptation of Lord of the Flies (Netflix - reviewed here). While there have been a number of Lord of the Flies-inspired man-versus-nature-versus-himself on an island shows recently (Lost, The Wilds, Yellowjackets), I found this one to be beautifully, hauntingly poignant. Moms, watch with caution.

My immediate palate cleanser? Frothy and fun Off Campus (Prime TV), the most recent book to tv hockey romance novel adaptation. This one plays on the “pretend dating to real feelings” trope. I’ll be honest: rom-coms are not typically my genre of choice, but I found this one terribly addictive and refreshingly sensitive – I found myself bracing for the inevitably misogynistic “locker room talk” between hockey bros, but the show tackled consent, pleasure and sexual assault with surprising tact.

Mark and I are currently working our way through Your Friends and Neighbors, S2 (Apple TV+). I’m deeeeeply enjoying the addition of James Marsden’s unhinged megalomaniac billionaire as the primary antagonist. We are also starting to catch up on Industry, S4 (HBO) - two episodes in and the level of mess is legitimately squirm inducing (I can’t wait to see what happens next).

There were no Sunday edition menus this month because with two full weekends of house guests, plus a camping trip in between, we were fully operating on auto-pilot. Lots and lots of freezer meals and far too much takeout for my personal liking, and I’m much looking forward to some downtime in June to return to some intentional, seasonal cooking.

A few winners from the month: Big Fat Greek Salad With Souvlaki-ish Chicken from Wishbone Kitchen just feels like summer. Extremely easy to scale up for a crowd, the salad is so fresh, and the whole meal requires surprisingly little fuss. Super easy to prep components ahead and then toss together for guests.

Have been back on my sandwich nonsense, this time returning to my go-to plant based sandwich to take advantage of summer produce. She’s fresh, she’s delicious, and you’ll find me eating at least two a week all summer. I’m also steadily working my way through the 6 (yes that is s-i-x six) bags of mini cucumbers my grocery delivery shopper mistakenly brought us with my favorite recipe for when it’s too hot to cook. Finally: a stone fruit batched cocktail for sipping all summer long.

for seattle folks:

Many excellent coffees were had this month.

A few other recent winners:

Otherside Market and Deli - some absolutely fab grab and go sandwiches, perfect to eat next to your preferred body of water this summer. Just heads up – the construction in eastlake makes this decidedly tricky to park.

Madison Park Bakery makes some of the best parisian style prosciutto and cheese baguette sandwiches. Highly recommend grabbing a few before beach day!

Went up to Camber in Bellingham while up for a family camping trip and had an exceptional breakfast sandwich and an interesting date + pomegranate molasses latte. Would absolutely find myself as a regular if I lived closer!

Jeffry’s (formerly Bateau & Boat Bar) - I hadn’t been to either of these Renee Erickson restaurants since 2019 (RIP post-work happy hours I guess) but snagged a res at the refreshed Jeffry’s to take visiting family. I’ll be honest: the martini cart was fun, my vesper was delicious, but it wasn’t quite what I was hoping for. I’m extremely forgiving when it comes to service, but this was a tough one across the board. I know they probably have some growing pains for the new concept — here’s hoping things smooth out.

editor’s note: i’ve slightly revised the content here after the Sea Creatures team reached out. They’re aware of my experience and are addressing it, so I don’t feel the need for some of the sharper details to linger on. 🫡

A few excellent purchases this month!

It’s tomato girl garden summer! Snagged this perfect tomato candle for my garden-loving mom for mother’s day, and this farmer’s market scented room diffuser for myself. For the real, actual garden: I’m currently on my tomato, strawberry, cosmo/zinnia and dahlia journey (with some excellent dinnerplate varieties from Eden Brothers and Park Seed). It’s bringing me a ton of joy to check for new fruits with the toddler every day, and I’m ready to become a crazy dahlia lady.

Picked up this play mat for the baby and this three-in-one sensory play table for the toddler. Both have been excellent for playtime. The sensory table in particular has been a smash hit for water, kinetic sand and other play outside on the deck – anything that gives me 45+ minutes of independent play is an immediate yes in my book!

I only shopped two memorial day sales, both for items I’ve had on my wishlists for months:

• Picked up the Scarlett Nap Dress + Louisa Nap Dress from Hill House – with sale discounts managed to pick up both for less than the price of a similar Doen dress I’ve been eyeing. Excited to wear both all summer as easy grab and go outfits.

• For the past few years I’ve been focused on furnishing our interiors following our move and major renovation, but top of the list for this year was budgeting for a set of nice outdoor furniture so we can finally start to enjoy our outdoor space with more than a folding camp chair (... it’s been 87 years and my back is tireddddd). Picked up a few pieces from Neighbor for our deck and I’m chomping at the bit for it to arrive – I’m about to be literally seated all summer.

currently wearing:

Back to my “trying to get dressed every day” era – a week’s worth of outfits here!

empties:

• Caudalie Resveratrol Cashmere Moisturizer - swapped for Tata Harper Softening Cleanser for Sensitive Skin which has been great for some dry irritated skin with all the heat.

• Caudalie Resveratrol Lift Retinol Alternative Serum - refilled

• The Outset Micellar cleanser - swapped for Tata Harper Superkind Calming Crème. huge fan.

• Merit Great Skin Serum - repurchased

• Fresh Advanced Therapy Treatment Lip Balm - swapped for Farmacy Honey Vanilla Peptide Lip Smoothie

links you loved:

• Ruggable leaping cheetah rug - i can’t get over how much y’all love this rug // how kid and pet friendly it is in our upstairs landing.

• Fellow Espresso Series 1 - I’ve been saving to upgrade my espresso set up and this one is at the top of my list.

• Luna Pant + Cashmere Relaxed T-Shirt - a truly effortless mom uniform

• Caraway Non-toxic food storage - one of my favorite healthy home purchases from 2024

• DedCool Mineral Milk - because I *always* want to smell like a cashmere sweater on a cold beach.

This has been a long one, so if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! I’m currently working on another audio episode like this one — if you’ve got something you’d like me to discuss, feel free to drop it in the comments or the question box!

PUT IT IN THE BURN BOOK

Summer in high school existed vividly outside the normal mechanisms of time. Days dragged together, sticky and humid, marked by who texted back and which secrets you were keeping that week. Everything felt simultaneously enormous and insignificant – glances, kisses, whispers, friendships and relationships shifting like a kaleidoscope while days and weeks ran together. The low hum of urgency to make the most of a perfect summer made every moment feel like a live wire – waiting, wondering, if this moment will be the one when a defining something will happen.

That endless existence, filled with tension and self-discovery, is exactly what debut novelist Sonia Feldman captures in her novel Girl’s Girl, out today. It follows three best friends across one midwestern summer, centered around the kiss that destabilizes their relationships and begins to unravel everything. It’s a book about girlhood and longing, and the dizzying, endless work of becoming yourself. Reading it sent me straight back to my own teenage summers.1

I am so glad I got a chance to make Sonia a (metaphorical) cup of tea, and talk about her novel, advice for writers, and getting dressed before you do something brave.

Without further ado — Sonia.

Xx

about you:

Name: Sonia Feldman

Title / Role (how would you describe yourself and what you do?): Author

Where are you answering from today? Cleveland, Ohio

Where can readers find you:

• Website: https://soniacfeldman.com/

• Social Handles @writsonia (Instagram, TikTok and Threads, but Instagram is mainly where I’m active)

How would you describe yourself in one sentence? I’m a writer from Cleveland who loves talking to her friends on the phone.

Is there a project, launch, or other thing you’d love readers to know about right now? My debut novel, Girl’s Girl, is out June 2nd! (today!)

What’s your go-to coffee order?* I’m a tea girl—London fog, no sweetener.

Something you read, watched, or listened to recently that stuck with you?* U R MINE by Kaeto is giving me big feelings at the moment. It has this incredible looping quality, where you can just listen to it over and over again.

What’s a small ritual or habit that brings you joy? Brushing my hair ✨

A book / podcast/ article you keep recommending?* Dogs of Summer by Andrea Abreu, translated by Julia Sanches. It’s a girlhood novel set in the Canary Islands about two 10-year-old best friends. I love how they’re allowed to be feral and obsessed with each other. Also the Astra House edition has a perfect cover.

What’s a small luxury you won’t apologize for? Ordering large quantities of loose leaf tea via email—shout out to Amber and Cleveland Tea Revival —and then drinking many cups of tea all day long regardless of how my stomach lining feels about this behavior.

Something you’re curious about right now?* I think the bombardment of information we’re all dealing with all the time can dampen curiosity. It feels hard to open yourself up to wondering. That’s one of the appeals of poetry for me. A good poem makes me feel like my brain has been turned inside out and then folded like a piece of laundry. I get curious about how the poem works, but then also the process of reading the poem heightens my perception and makes new room for me to ask questions. Part of the reason why I run a weekly poetry newsletter is that if I have to send a newsletter, then I have to read poems first, and I want to remain available to curiosity, even when I’m tired.

Favorite discovery this year?* Vintage ribbons on Etsy. I can’t stop buying them. Ribbons light my brain on fire. They’re too good.

What’s your favorite way to get out of your comfort zone? The best way for me to get out of my comfort zone is to get all dressed up first. When I’m wearing An Outfit, I feel infinitely more capable of doing something I’ve never done before.

What helps you stay grounded? Writing by hand in my journal. Many of my journal entries are frustrated and melodramatic because I can’t actually get myself to write in my journal in the first place unless I really need the handwriting process for relief.

How do you nurture connection with others? By saying yes to everybody’s bachelorette parties. Invite me. I’m down for the Airbnb.

How do you nurture connection with yourself?I write poetry. I take a long time getting dressed. I go to the Cleveland Museum of Art and look at the water lilies.

Who do you look to for inspiration? Who or what is sparking your creativity?* I love beautiful pieces of paper. Stationary, stickers, handwriting. The ascendence of the analog internet right now is so fun. I want to sign up for like 45 different mail clubs. See: Martina Calvi, Merle Mail, Kizia Gayle, and Manjit Thapp, among many others.

If you could have coffee with anyone (no rules!) who would it be? Jane Austen. I want a tête-à-tête.

From the first page of Girl’s Girl, I was immediately struck by the way that Sonia’s writing makes the ordinary feel charged. In her novel, as in her interview here, the small and seemingly insignificant moments of life feel so vivid as to be excruciating. A kiss, a selfie, the friend you can’t stop looking at and must look away from, are so immersive you can’t help but be consumed by the urgency and anxiety of youth on the brink of adulthood. It’s a coming of age story, a tribute to girlhood, and a gorgeously immersive celebration of a suburban midwestern summer.

Girl’s Girl is out now – I hope you read it somewhere sunny and humid, ideally with a tall glass of iced tea within reach. If you’re anything like me, you won’t be able to put it down.

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After living my entire adult life with a barely-A cup and relatively narrow waist (compared to relatively muscular hips, thighs and glutes), my body has gone full speed in the opposite direction of that. That would be completely fine, but my carefully constructed closet is full of cropped, high neck shirts and wide legged but narrow waisted pants that either no longer fit, or no longer feel like they fit this version of me.

I also live in Seattle, where the spring to summer transition doesn’t really stick until the end of June. While the rest of the country frolics in the sunshine, we alternate between 54 degrees and mist, unexpected downpours and random heatwaves. I’m living in daily whiplash between my oversized sweaters, waterproof jackets, and shorts and tank tops.

In short: it’s hell out here. My closet is dark and full of terrors, morale is low, and the vibes are preeeeeeetty bad. Every morning is like a fashion version of “Chopped” where you have to put together somewhat presentable outfits out of elements that are fine on their own and don’t go together in the slightest.

But if you know me, you know I love a fashion challenge. So, I’ve officially re-entered my “era of getting dressed for real every day and figuring out what works (and what doesn’t) in a new-to-me body” (title FPO). I’m doing my best to limit athletic wear to actual workouts (or particularly gnarly kid outings) and limit the number of new purchases I make. Overall the goal is to have fun and give myself some grace.

Let’s get into it,

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tuesday:

What I did: It’s a mom plus writing day. I had a stint of childcare because my husband was on a work trip, so after preschool drop off and in between feeds I dipped into my favorite coffee shop to put finishing touches on my interview with Kaitlyn and work on my at-home coffee post.

What I wore: Cream rollneck sweater, navy wide leg trousers, green and white nike sneakers, longchamp le pliage pink tote.

Thoughts and feelings: This is one of my most worn outfits this winter and spring postpartum – it’s comfortable, warm, and feels put together while also being the dressed up version of sweatpants. I don’t know if it’s “flattering”, per say, but it doesn’t make me want to light my closet on fire, so we’re going to call it a win. It’s decidedly too warm to wear in the summer here, so I’m going to need to figure out a 1:1 replacement, stat.

wednesday:

Read more

I spend a lot of time sitting in this exact spot nursing my daughter. and while I was once vigilant about my own screen time limits, the amount of time I spend mindlessly scrolling has crept up more than I’d like to admit in the past few months. I find having a list of things queued up to read helps me reduce scrolling immensely, so here’s to the first (of many!) anti-doomscrolling reading recommendations.

📰 The Men Who Want Women to Be Quiet (The Atlantic, Helen Lewis) — A long, unsettling look at the rise of conservative “masculinism,” from male-loneliness concerns at one end to a genuinely alarming political agenda at the other.

🤖 You’re Not Crazy: A Case of New-Onset AI-Associated Psychosis (Pre-pub —- Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience) — A clinical case study of a woman whose immersive use of an AI chatbot validated and reinforced her delusions to the point where she was hospitalized (multiple times!) for new-onset psychosis. An absolutely chilling perspective worth considering as AI is increasingly integrated into daily life.

🔍 Google Search As You Know It Is Over (TechCrunch) — The google search experience as we know it is officially coming to an end — and I don’t think I like where it’s headed. As someone whose livelihood runs on discoverability and intellectual property, this one hit close to home — required reading if you create anything online.

💌 You Are Not a Bother ( ) — A tender reminder that thinking the people who love you would be burdened by your pain is top tier dumb.

👶 The Particular Struggle of Being an Ambitious Mother ( ) — feeling deeply seen by this note about wanting big things (and raising small people).

🫶 Networking as an Introvert ( )— Practical, generous advice on how to build real connections, for those of us who might be inclined to stay on the couch. Immediate bookmark.

What have you been reading lately? Drop your favorites below — I’m always collecting. 👇

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Imagine my surprise when I realized that despite the fact that coffee has been a fairly significant portion of my own brand identity and social content in the past ten years (the real ones have been here since my #coffeeandcardio days!) — I don’t actually have much in the way of coffee content here. There are a number of at-home coffee recipes, and a quick deep dive on my favorite instant coffee, but… that’s it.

And while I no longer make daily coffee recipe videos for the internet anymore, there was a time I spent significant amounts of my time thinking about and learning about how to make coffee at home better, cheaper, and more fun than getting a drink at a coffee shop.

So today, we’re getting into the biggest things I learned – from getting the basics right to make good coffee at home, to leveling up your game (without spending $900 on a brand new machine), to creating cafe quality specialty drinks without the hefty price tag. My attitude is that a little treat is always nice, but in this economy you can totally make that at home.

Let’s get into it.

Xx

• the basics — tips and tricks for good coffee 101, broken down by brew method and some general knowledge

• troubleshooting — a few FAQs and common challenges for at home coffee

• let’s make it fancy — the foolproof formula I use for cafe-quality drinks at home.

the basics

What’s the deal with all the different brewing methods? Is one better than the other?

They are different, not better. A lot of it depends on your personal preference, budget, time, and interest in futzing around with coffee as a hobby versus coffee as a means to an end. Putting the same beans through different brewing methods will get you meaningfully different end results:

Drip Coffee - hot water dripped over medium ground coffee and passed through a paper filter. Makes a balanced cup with moderate acidity, usually with a set it and forget it machine. Best if: you want coffee to “just happen”, or have volume needs that a pourover can’t touch.

• I haven’t had a drip machine since 2014, but several friends swear by the quality of the Moccamaster.

French Press - coarse ground coffee steeps in hot water, then a metal mesh separates the grounds. With no paper filter, it’s a heavy, more full-bodied coffee that leaves in particulates and oils for lower acidity and a silky mouth taste. It’s forgiving on technique, but not on stale beans. Best if: you like a rich, “thick” cup of coffee (and don’t mind waiting the 5ish minutes it needs to brew.)

Pour Over - manually poured hot water in stages over medium-fine ground coffee in a paper or metal filter cone. The paper strips oils and sediments, leaving a more “tea-like” cup – great for bright, fruity and floral notes in light - medium speciality roasts. It’s technique sensitive, meaning small changes in grind size or pour speed will change the cup a lot. Best if: you like tasting notes in a black coffee, are very into a slow, ritualistic morning with several steps.

• Most popular pour overs are V60 and Chemex (what I have!). I will also add that several coffee brands have come out with automatic pourover machines in the past few years, including chemex and this highly rated one from fellow. I haven’t personally tried, but they are on the wish list!)

Moka Pot - a three chamber pot with water in the bottom, fine-ground coffee in the middle and brewed coffee collecting on top. Heat builds steam pressure and pushes hot water through the grounds for a bold, chocolatey and nutty coffee that’s 2-3x times more concentrated than drip coffee (but isn’t a true espresso). Best if: you want at-home espresso-style drinks on a budget

• pots usually go for ~$30-$50. Bialetti is a classic

Espresso - hot water is forced through tightly packed, finely ground coffee at a high pressure for 1-2 oz of a highly concentrated shot with “crema” on top – a fine golden foam. Many machines also feature a steamwand for lattes and other milk-based espresso drinks. It can have a steep learning curve (grind size, pull time, output weight, milk aeration…) and cost can be a barrier to entry with at-home machines ranging from $300 to $1000+. Best if: you’re willing to tinker and learn for cafe-quality lattes at home.

• The Breville semi-automatic espresso machines are far and away the most popular “starter” options – I have the smallest Bambino Plus, which I upgraded to as a replacement for my Nespresso in 2022. It’s a good option for just around $500, although if I were to do it again I would go with the slightly more expensive Barista Express for the built in grinder and some automation on the milk frother.

• There are also tons of options for more manual and higher powered at- home machines. I’m currently saving up to upgrade my at home system, and am considering the Lelit MaraX, the Profetic Go or the Fellow Espresso Series 1.

Cold Brew - coarse ground coffee steeps in water for 12-24 hours and is then filtered. The slow extraction pulls out fewer acids resulting in a smooth, sweet, low-acid concentrate that’s usually diluted 1:1 with water or milk before drinking. It’s higher in caffeine than other brew methods (~200 mg per 16 oz vs 100-150 mg in hot coffee). Requires planning ahead (and a larger volume of coffee means) than other brew methods – can be a bit messy. Best if: iced coffee season is year found, and you want a quality drink with low start up costs.

• All you need for cold brew is a large pitcher and a cheese cloth or nut milk bag, but I have and love the Hario Cold Brew Bottle for ease of use and ~aesthetics~.

Instant coffee or coffee concentrate: pre-brewed coffee that’s either been dehydrated, concentrated, bottled or frozen. For both you can dilute the taste with water or milk. Best if: you’re short on time, budget, or equipment (or all three). Works well for travel, camping, office, or postpartum.

• I’ve got a full run down on instant and concentrated coffee here! While I’m a pourover girl at heart, my default for the last few years has been cometeer for an excellent cup of black coffee in seconds with zero clean-up and minimal attention required.

Talk to me about beans. What do I need to know about freshness, storage, grind size, etc?

For one of the easiest ways to level up at home coffee, try whole beans instead of pre-ground, or ask if your local coffee shop can grind them for you when you purchase a new bag. The oils in coffee beans start to evaporate once they are ground, so having them ground as close as possible to the time you brew them is a great way to ensure maximum flavor.

And much like that avocado sitting on your counter, coffee has a self-life and it’s not terribly long: Freshly roasted beans have “peak” flavor between 2-16 days after roasting, and will keep most flavor for around 30 days before starting to get stale. To lengthen the shelf life, keep your coffee sealed in an opaque, airtight container in a cool dark spot. It’s generally not recommended to keep beans in the fridge, and there is some debate on whether or not to freeze due to changes that moisture and condensation can have on the beans.

In terms of grind size – the TLDR is that different brewing styles require different grind sizes in order to align the contact time (how long the beans are in contact with the water) with the extraction time (how long it takes to get the flavor out of the coffee bean). Faster extraction methods (like espresso) mean smaller surface area (finer grind) while longer extraction times (like cold brew) mean larger surface area (larger grind). There is some art and science for this one, but I find these charts from Stitch Coffee pretty helpful for grind size by method and approximate grinder settings.

If you want one tip that will improve your at-home coffee, update your grinder: typical electric kitchen blade grinders tend to use a lot of heat and can result in inconsistent sized grounds which affects the way your coffee brews and tastes. Look into an adjustable conical burr grinder - it will give you more control over the size and consistency. I’ve got the Dose Control grinder from Breville and it works well for people who want to be able to make a bunch of different kinds of coffee ( I use for espresso, pour over and cold brew). I’ve got some personal gripes with the mess it makes when dosing for the espresso machine, but it generally gets the job done.

What about roast levels and tasting notes? What does bright or chocolatey or fruity actually mean? Am I supposed to be able to taste a difference?

The coffee bean is actually the pit of a coffee cherry. The fruit is usually dried and then discarded, while the beans are dried and then roasted to make everyone’s favorite bev. Different roasting levels change intensity and acidity – lighter roasts are more acidic and retain a natural fruityness, while darker roasts are less acidic with bolder flavors and notes like chocolate and smoke.

Put simply, you can think about coffee like you might think about wine – coffee from different areas have different characteristics, and different roasting styles bring forward those flavors in a ton of fun ways. I like this tasting wheel to learn about them!

What’s the deal with water??

Coffee is mostly water, so if your tap water tastes flat, chlorinated, or super hard, you might want to try filtered or bottled spring water. If you use a machine, you’ll likely want to flush (clean out) your machine every few weeks to prevent mold or other icky build up, and descale every few months to reduce mineral build up that can harm performance.

Also: temperature matters. Boiling water is 212 degrees or higher, while the ideal temp for good coffee is just under boiling, closer to 208-210, in order not to burn it! If you don’t have a fancy kettle with a temperature gauge, do your best to pull water off right before the boil starts. It takes a little bit of practice but after a few goes you’ll get it right!

troubleshooting

Why does my coffee taste different every day?

One issue might be if you’re eyeballing the coffee amount or measuring by weight. Ratio can be a really quick solution to ensure consistent taste. Snag a kitchen scale and follow the recommended “golden ratio” of 1:16 to 1:17 coffee to water. This resource has a great table with coffee:water volume for just about every brew method, and this website has a fun calculator to help you customize to your preferences.

Why does it taste bitter / sour / weak?

• Sour = under-extracted, meaning it didn’t pull enough flavor. Try grinding finer, using hotter water, or brewing longer.

• Bitter = over-extracted, meaning it pulled too much flavor. Try grinding coarser, cooler water, or a shorter brew time.

• Weak = not enough coffee in your final product. Try increasing your coffee to water ratio (most likely culprit!), longer brew time, a finer grind, hotter water (target 195 - 205), or fresher beans.

Like any good science experiment, you’ll want to adjust one variable at a time until you dial in your perfect brew.

Why can’t I figure out how to steam my milk correctly? You want to use cold milk and heat to 140 degrees max – you’re looking for the texture of a thick, silky wet paint, rather than shaving cream foam. This tutorial helped me to visualize in a way other descriptions and tutorials haven’t, and I like the “troubleshooting” approach to this one (although I still have not mastered latte art).

Don’t have an espresso machine with a milk frother? This handheld NanoFoamer is great for hot or cold options, and I love this Bodum milk frother for alternative milks.

MOST COMMON FAQ: Why can’t I make my Breville Machine make espresso that tastes good?

… things I ask myself at least once a week. A few options to play around with:

• Adjust shot volume for better extraction: You can manually set brew duration by changing the pre-set volumes for the 1 cup and 2 cup preset buttons. This video is a great walk through.

• Adjust your puck prep to ensure even extraction. This video helped me a lot!

• When in doubt… check the breville reddit.

If you’re interested in more technical coffee content than this – I am not your girl, but I can point you towards a few more technical coffee creators I love to follow and have learned a lot from! James Hoffmann, Morgan Eckroth, Dan and Tanner Colson.

now let’s make it *fancy*

Let’s be honest: when I asked readers their biggest “issues” with at home coffee while about half the responses were about the technical elements, the rest of them were about the experience. Almost everyone reported that coffee shops just make better, more interesting drinks than you can make at home. I get it – you want your shaken brown sugar espresso (but you also want it without having to leave the house and fork over $14.99 plus tip).

And often, the at home drink is not necessarily a coffee problem. More likely than not, you have what you need to make a good, interesting drink at home – it just requires a little creativity. Think about the formula like this:

• Coffee base (hot, iced, cold brewed?)

• Sweetness / Flavoring

• Milk style (hot, cold)

• Finishing Touch (cinnamon, cold foam, sea salt)

Plug and play different combinations, and all of a sudden you’re a barista. Feeling flirty and fresh in the spring? Grab a French Lavender syrup for your cold brew. Feeling cozy in the fall? Make a brown sugar and salted sage lattes.

If you’d like guidance on leveling up your at home coffee, I’ve got a coffee e-book packed with simple recipes, clever tips and easy tricks to level up your coffee game (no fancy equipment required).

let's get coffee together e-book

I’ve also got an archive of recipes and flavor ideas both in the earlybird archive and on tiktok

Once you’ve mastered that basic formula, you can go a little wild. When I develop a new recipe,I think about seven customizations:

FOR EXAMPLE:

SPARKLING AMERICANO: One of my all time favorite drinks, especially in the summer - a simple, refreshing drink that feels almost cocktail adjacent. They are so simple and easy to customize, at pretty much any level of skill or effort:

• Beginner: Sparkling water, ice, espresso shot. Simple syrup or a dash of bitters if you’re feeling wild.

• Intermediate: Sparkling water, ice, espresso shot, dash of vanilla syrup & slice of lemon OR slice of orange & a basil leaf

• Expert: Sparkling water, espresso shot, homemade blackberry sage syrup.

SEASONAL LATTES: We know them, we love them, we can’t escape the endless cycle of “blueberry muffin lattes” and other flavor trends on social media. But you can make your own fun seasonal latte at home without spending a million dollars on syrups or slaving away in the kitchen every day.

• Beginner: Milk of choice, Ice, shot of espresso (or coffee concentrate etc), pre-made lavender syrup (these last a long time! I might buy one every six months or so).

• Intermediate: Milk of choice, ice, shot of espresso, homemade blueberry lavender syrup

• Expert: Milk of choice, ice, shot of espresso, homemade blueberry lavender syrup, homemade lemon cold foam. (okay so it’s a special occasion drink, sue me)

The opportunities here are literally endless.

I get a lot of inspiration from drinks I’ve had at coffee shops (and occasionally from spots I follow on social media that I visited while traveling and will likely never go back to but enjoyed a lot). I have tried all kinds of wild combinations and I swear I don’t think I’ve ever made a bad one.

All that being said, here’s what I really want you to walk away with: there is no rule that says good coffee has to be hard, fancy, or expensive. It’s not about better gear or better beans (although those probably won’t hurt). It’s about feeling confident and comfortable enough to play – knowing some repeatable formulas well enough to break the rules and see what happens. Riff on it. Swap things in. That’s what turns a boring cup of coffee at home into something special, fun, and easy to accomplish.

So make the brown sugar syrup, try a sparkling americano, or finally dial in your espresso machine, and give something new a try this week. Before you go, I’m taking requests and can’t wait to hear from you:

• Pick my pour; describe your vibe and I’ll build you a drink to match it. The more obscure, the better.

• DIY it, pleaaaaase: I live for a recreation. Tell me the drink you keep dreaming about and I’ll see if I can help you DIY at home.

• What’s in your mug: I want to know your favorite at-home creations. What’s weird but good? What are you making for all your guests? I want to knooooooow!

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During my relatively brief but decidedly formative stint in the mental health world, I noticed there was a very specific reaction to the work that I did. Despite the fact that I worked in research, evaluating how different types of family focused interventions supported early onset mood disorders (and was not, in any sense of the word, a Mental Health professional), when people heard “mental health” they almost immediately launched into telling me extremely personal details about their or their loved ones mental health.

It’s a very human reaction, I think, to hear that someone has expertise in managing the challenging elements of the human condition and immediately want to turn to them for insight. Sharing the skills and insight of a mental health professional is a challenging thing to get right in online content (cue “i’m a therapist, but I’m not your therapist” disclosures) – which is why I’m delighted to introduce you all to today.

Off-duty therapist, mom, podcast host and writer of the dialoguing newsletter, Kaitlyn offers up evaluations of pop-culture from a mental health perspective, candid interviews about therapy from some of your favorite creators, lifestyle content around well-being, and personal essays on identity, relationships and mental health. If you like a semi-academic deep dive, mentally diagnose your favorite characters while watching a movie, or are looking for thoughtful, compassionate mental health content, you’re going to love her work.

Without further ado – Kaitlyn

Xx

about you:

Name: Kaitlyn Elizabeth

Title / Role (how would you describe yourself and what you do?): Psychotherapist & Writer

Where are you answering from today? Denver, CO

Where can readers find you:

• Newsletter:

🌼 dialoguing

Zero hot takes. Perhaps I can interest you in some nuance, vulnerability and incredibly deep dives on pop culture through a psychological lens instead?

By Kaitlyn Elizabeth

How would you describe yourself in one sentence? The most apt description would be that I am the kind of person who wrote 12 different responses to this questions and then deleted them all to say this :)

Is there a project, launch, or other thing you’d love readers to know about right now? In general, the newsletter is my baby. I just recently hosted my first workshop and launched a recap series for paid subscribers following a current TV show (right now it’s Shrinking; Ted Lasso in the summer) where I add my in-depth commentary, including some therapeutic and mental health elements that come up along the way, which they always do.

A few pieces I’ve personally loved from Kaitlyn:

🌼 dialoguing

"Let's Talk Therapy" with Aja Frost and Aliza Sir

Welcome to this tiny corner of the internet where an off-duty psychotherapist keeps the conversation going on how to make sense of this life thing we’re all doing…

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9 months ago · 23 likes · 8 comments · Kaitlyn Elizabeth, Aja Frost, and Aliza Sir

🌼 dialoguing

"How do you make long distance friendships work?"

hi!! You’ve found yourself at dialoguing, a newsletter where I talk about life sometimes through the lens of my day job (I’m a psychotherapist) in the least clinical way possible. As the name of this newsletter suggests, I’m conscious of how we talk. to oneself…

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a month ago · 26 likes · 19 comments · Kaitlyn Elizabeth

🌼 dialoguing

Oh my gosh, have you heard the news? Phones are bad for us!

Welcome to this tiny corner of the internet where an off-duty psychotherapist keeps the conversation going on how to make sense of this life thing we’re all doing. If you ever wondered what your therapist does off the clock—which, who among us hasn’t?—this is like that. Think of it as the adult equivalent of seeing your elementary school teacher at the grocery store picking out lemons…

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a year ago · 180 likes · 15 comments · Kaitlyn Elizabeth

🌼 dialoguing

how a prescription ad for postpartum depression helped me address my own (6+ years later)

hi!! You’ve found yourself at dialoguing, a newsletter where I talk about life sometimes through the lens of my day job (I’m a psychotherapist) in the least clinical way possible. As the name of this newsletter suggests, I’m conscious of how we talk. to oneself…

Read more

2 months ago · 24 likes · 9 comments · Kaitlyn Elizabeth

What’s your go-to coffee order?* Iced Vanilla Latte (no matter the weather)

Something you read, watched, or listened to recently that stuck with you?* The documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light.

What’s a small ritual or habit that brings you joy? Playing Otis Redding while I cook. Put me in a kitchen and i’m immediately anxious, Otis helps me stay playful and not so serious.

A product or object that’s made your daily life a little better* My Himalayan salt lamp that I’m certain doesn’t actually do anything beyond provide a warm vibe, but I love it on my nightstand. I used it to read at night before bed and it’s the exact luminance (had to look this word up) I need. I began using it after my son was born when I needed a lower level light for night feeds. Mark my words, that thing will be on my nightstand until my dying day.

A book / podcast/ article you keep recommending?* I’m a big SNL-head so The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast is my go-to recommendation and literally no one ever takes me up on it :/ Just talking to myself over here.

Small luxury or splurge you won’t apologize for: Honestly, my first thought is I don’t think I have any. The part of me that feels guilty holds a lot of power. But, if I sit with that for a second, I would say getting a coffee from the shop across the street. Could I make it myself at home? Absolutely. But, I love the sense of community that a place like that can bring. We all know each other’s names and I run into someone I know almost every time. It’s like Cheers up there. To me, it’s priceless.

What’s your current most used emoji? 😂

Something you’re curious about right now?* Building off that last answer: How to build more community in a way that feels organic to me. I’m the definition of an introverted extrovert and struggle to host--it takes a lot out of me. But I recently listened to (on substack at Group Life) on Ezra Klein (link to episode here!) and she shot holes in all my excuses about why I just simply can’t host. She really got me thinking and it’s injected me with hopefulness and possibility.

Favorite discovery this year?* I Love L.A. on HBO. It took me a second to get into, but I’m enjoying it so much.

A new skill, hobby or practice you’re trying (or wanting to try)* Other than my aforementioned flirting with (my type of) hosting, I’m trying to learn more how to market my newsletter which couldn’t come less naturally to me but I’m trying to try ;)

An experience you’d recommend to others? Therapy--individual, couples and group. I know I’m biased and not all of it is good, but when it’s good, it can be life-changing.

What’s your favorite way to get out of your comfort zone? I suspect you may mean a specific activity, but the therapist in me is going to give a process answer.

My favorite way to get out of my comfort zone is to do it gently. I know there is a lot of discourse out there of the Nike-variety “Just do it.” Which I don’t disagree with on the whole. I see it more as a follow-up to first noticing what I’m worried about will happen if I do. I see personally and professionally that there can be a lot of emotional blow back if we dismiss our fears outright and jump without understanding ourselves better.

A risk you’re glad you took? Traditionally therapists have been told to be like the (mostly) outdated adage about kids and women: “Seen and not heard.” It was a big risk to come out from behind my therapist role and share my thoughts, feelings and foibles in the newsletter. I still publish with a shaky hand sometimes and feel very tender about what I share--and I understand why. I don’t think that’s a bad thing or a sign I shouldn’t. Just a sign I’m human.

A piece of advice you return to often?* “They’re not looking for a miracle, they’re looking for a relationship.”

This is something a mentor of mine says--and I think it applies to our internal world (our feelings, parts of us) and our external world--friends, partners, children, our community. I find this saying softens our “fix it” reflex and engages our compassion and humanity.

A perspective that’s shifted for you in the last year?* I can’t keep trying to do everything on my own...and the truth is I never was. Woof.

How are you defining success in this season? Kindness toward myself--my dreams, my fears, my struggles--and the same for those around me.

What helps you stay grounded? Going outside. Works every time.

What would your younger self be surprised to know about you? That I’ve let myself be this seen--that I’ve let people in.

How do you nurture connection with others? I really try to know people and stay open to that inherently evolving over time. I find this guides me toward how to stay connected.

A lot of my close friends don’t live locally (I’m a transplant from Chicago), so it’s not as many in-person hangs as I would like. For some, it’s a voice note, others it’s a weekly phone call and then there are friends who just want to know that we can pick up where we were the last time we saw each other with no pressure to stay in touch in the meantime.

How do you nurture connection with yourself? Therapy, writing, journaling, time outside.

Who do you look to for inspiration? Who or what is sparking your creativity?* I’m so inspired by everyone on Substack...almost too inspired, ha! I can get manic with ideas and not enough time in the day to get to them. But I always write them down, knowing I’ll come back to them.

Is there a tradition or ritual you cherish? Every Thanksgiving, we meet my husband’s family in Florida for the week. Not only do I love being by the water, it gives me a glimpse of more communal living. We have potlucks every other night, we play pickleball every morning and (crucially) we each have our own living space so we aren’t on top of each other. It’s the best of both worlds. It’s now extended to my brother-in-law’s family, my family and friends joining us there.

If you could have coffee with anyone (no rules!) who would it be? Keke Palmer or Amy Poehler (or truly plz, both)

I’m so inspired by Kaitlyn’s decision to allow herself to be “seen” – to step out from behind her therapist persona and share and create candidly. Combined with her advice to “do it gently”, it serves as a gentle reminder for me to consider where I’m hiding behind my own persona — on the newsletter and in real life. I so deeply appreciate Kaitlyn’s work, and I hope you will too.

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But with the early days of summer, and with th…

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1. Lord of the Flies (BBC, on Netflix) - Have not been able to look away from this stunning, surreal adaptation of the 1954 novel by William Golding. Set in the immediate aftermath of the crash of an airplane full of young boarding school students on a tropical island, the show is a difficult, harrowing watch. Lord of the Flies is an allegory for the very thin line between civilization and savagery, a point driven directly home by how unsettling it is to watch the young boys give in to every one of their worst instincts. The four part series is a natural companion to last year’s Adolescence - and I won’t lie, as a mom to a young boy, both have weighed heavy on my heart since watching.

2. Mineral Milk from DedCool. I’ve been using and loving the DedCool Xtra Milk detergent for a few years now, a soft “you but better” scent with amber, musk and bergamot. So it’s no surprise I’ve been immediately drawn to their new scent, Mineral Milk, described as your favorite cashmere sweater on chilly Pacific beach, nectar over crisp marine salt, peeling a ripe orange on a windy seaside stroll – it smells like my favorite beach walk in Seattle. New signature scent, incoming.

3. The Singer’s Gun by Emily St. John Mandel. A man who grew up surrounded by criminals abandons the family business, determined to live a normal life until he’s blackmailed into one last job that will cost more than he could have imagined. ESJM is one of my all time favorite authors, and after a bit of a reading slump with a few reads I just couldn’t get into, I decided to check out her older works in the hopes of a good page turner. The Singer’s Gun is a short, layered story with her signature jumps in time and character perspective, and slow unspooling of the big picture that gives the experience of reading like a shifting kaleidoscope, each new reveal changing what you thought you knew.

Every so often, there is a topic I receive endless questions about that feels so big and so daunting I struggle to figure out how to do it justice. A quick instagram story doesn’t cover the depth needed, and my attempts to draft a newsletter piece quickly become so long as to be unhelpful. And since announcing my pregnancy and the birth of my daughter in December, there has been an uptick in one specific type of question:

“Hello! I’ve been following you for a while and love your whole vibe. Your blog and feedback helped me plan our honeymoon to French Polynesia! I am newly pregnant and would love to hear how and when you modified your fitness routine during your pregnancy and now postpartum“

I’ve been procrastinating answering this one since 2023 because if I’m honest, I was in the absolute trenches with my own first pregnancy and postpartum experience and physical recovery.

It’s well documented that pregnancy reaches the upper limit of human endurance, operating at 2.2 times their resting metabolic rate for the duration of their 40+ week journey. And, once you complete nearly ten month’s worth of daily marathons in a body that changes daily, you find yourself at an entirely new ball game. For most new mothers, you leave the realm of regular medical check-ins, get dropped off at home with a baby you just met, a body that just got literally and metaphorically rearranged into something completely new, a singular check in at six weeks before being “approved” to exercise, and a societal pressure to look like you never had a baby at all as quickly as possible.

If you’re lucky, you’ll get a referral to pelvic floor therapy, but more than likely you’ll receive nothing in the way of guidance or education around what happened to your body during pregnancy and childbirth, how breastfeeding impacts your the way you heal and move forward, or what you’re even supposed to be watching out for when you return to exercise. In my experience there is a very real gap in programs and support that can get you from “shuffling around in a diaper and struggling to sit up out of bed” and the level of fitness and functionality I was operating at pre-baby.

Today we’re getting into the nitty gritty: what I did (and absolutely do not recommend) with my first pregnancy, and what I did differently for my second. This is a very transparent and very vulnerable post that gets into all the details you wanted to know but might be too afraid to ask (or, as was my case: may not have anyone in your life to tell you about it).

Let’s get to it,

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Approach #1: A cautionary tale

Before: I won’t lie to y’all: I was the fittest I have ever been in the two years before my first pregnancy. Part of it was the dual income, no kids lifestyle of two people in their late twenties living in the pacific northwest while exclusively working from home that afforded the time and flexibility to Do The Most (through hiking The Enchantments, backpacking Mt. Kilimanjaro, summit Mt. St. Helens…), Part of it was also the idea that I was going to try to have kids soon, so I might as well train for it like I was training for the mf-ing olympics.

At the time, I was 30 years old, weighed somewhere in the 130 - 145 range, and a slightly over the top workout routine was my primary hobby. I was exercising regularly seven days a week, with a mix of HIIT, strength training, running, yoga, Pilates and long distance hiking. A few weeks before I found out I was pregnant I casually ran a 5:50 mile *for fun* in the middle of a workout class – something I had struggled to do as a two season college athlete.

All things considered, having the time and flexibility and strength to dedicate time to this amount of training was kind of awesome (if somewhat unrealistic). I attribute my baseline fitness level to my overall strength and ability to return to movement post-pregnancy *despite* the shenanigans I got up to during pregnancy and the six month postpartum period.

during:

The first time around, I had no plan other than to “just keep doing what I was doing for as long as possible” (spoiler alert: this was misguided). I did almost no pregnancy-specific exercise: Barry’s Bootcamp until I was 20 weeks pregnant, regular Bar Method classes, several long hikes, and overnight backpacking trips. When I slowed down significantly during the second half of my second trimester, I started flailing a little bit because I didn’t know what to do - only what things I was supposed to suddenly be avoiding. I attended one or two prenatal yoga and switched my classes and switched my at home workouts to The Sculpt Society prenatal program but I struggled to stay consistent, especially with pelvic floor and core focused work; after a lifetime of high intensity fitness if it wasn’t raising my heart rate or causing me to sweat it felt like it wasn’t doing anything productive.

I will say this as directly as I possibly can:

I do not recommend this.

postpartum #1:

When I delivered, I was in unmedicated labor for roughly 12 hours - three of which I would consider active labor, and about half of that time we were stalled at 9.5cm —an experience I would not recommend and that I generally attribute to most of my issues postpartum. When it was finally go time, I pushed about five times (roughly 10 minutes), and had a 2nd degree tear but no other major complications. I attribute my quick and (relatively) painless delivery to my overall level of fitness before and during pregnancy. However, after we returned home from the hospital, the road to recovery humbled me in a million different ways.

I was physically exhausted from 12 hours of unmedicated labor, the tear was extraordinarily painful, and I continued bleeding for almost five weeks. Because I hadn’t adjusted my approach to movement to accommodate pregnancy, I was still in a very all or nothing mindset. I struggled to pace myself, going too hard, too fast, even on gentle walks, resulting in a ton of pain and continued bleeding. I would get discouraged from nearly any movement… until I repeated the process a few days later in an endless cycle of doing too much to shutting down.

At my six week appointment we discovered that the reason I was still in so much pain was because of excessive granulation tissue on my stitches - essentially overgrowth of new skin during the healing process. It was something I didn’t know was possible, and so obviously hadn’t thought to ask about (if you take nothing else from this article please let it be that pain during and after pregnancy is common but not normal. If something hurts, ask! about! It!). I had a minor procedure to remove the tissue, and was cleared at 8 weeks to exercise.

After I was cleared, I was desperate to feel like myself again but had no idea where to begin. Even so-called expert guidance was limited and unhelpful. Everyone and everything I looked into said “just listen to your body!!!!”… without detailing what I was supposed to be listening for, or more importantly, what to do when my body was screaming at me that something was wrong besides… just doing something else.

When I finally got into pelvic floor therapy, I had a really bad experience with the first therapist who didn’t seem to know how to treat someone who wasn’t 65 years old, and after a lot of time on exercises that didn’t address my symptoms or my discomfort, I gave up. In the absence of formal guidance, or an evidence based recovery plan to return to high intensity exercise, I figured I could just return to my previous routine at a lighter intensity and modify it until I got stronger. I did almost no postpartum-specific recovery focused work because I didn’t know how, and I couldn’t find any resources that showed me..

The result? Jumping back into running too early, and too hard (and wetting my pants on more than one occasion), taking workout classes I had no business taking (and crying in my car after instructors low-key shaded me for struggling through every modification in class), and a steady drumbeat of embarrassing or uncomfortable symptoms that carried on for months.

I’ll be honest with you: I’m more than a little embarrassed to read all this back. It reads as a cautionary tale of literally everything not to do. Hindsight is 20/20, and you don’t know what you don’t know, but this was the first time in my adult life that I was confronted with a physical problem that I wasn’t able to just muscle my way through with a combination of determination, physical ability and brute force. I was left with a jumble of embarrassment, shame and frustration that fueled a self destructive pattern of avoidance. If I just don’t do the exercises that cause XYZ symptoms, I can pretend it’s not a problem.

The turning point:

Even after my son’s first birthday, I continued to struggle with pelvic floor pain and weakness during running, discomfort during sex, and challenges doing activities that I used to love (and now mostly avoided). But after my son’s first birthday my husband and I decided I would spend a year focusing on my health and physical recovery before we discussed having another child. This gave me a timeframe and a plan, and while I don’t think I ever felt 100% back to pre-baby self, it was absolutely progress in the right direction:

• 14 months postpartum: stopped breastfeeding, delighted in the ability to fit back into my favorite sports bras and that strength training stopped feeling quite so laborious. Joined a gym (and stopped going to random workout classes) and got on a waitlist for a new pelvic floor therapist.

• 15-16 months postpartum: aggressive hormonal shifts post breastfeeding, combined with a truly awful period of work stress. I felt genuinely insane – somehow no one warned me about this??! .

• 18-24 months postpartum: Survived the post-weaning hormone crash and started progressive overload strength training. After about six months (around my son’s second birthday) I finally felt strong and comfortable in my body for truly the first time postpartum.

• 24-30 months postpartum / 3 months pre-pregnancy: Started training for pregnancy round two with continued strength training and a pelvic floor therapy program focused on biofeedback and rehab with a potential pregnancy in mind. After a tough road, I found out I was pregnant right around 30 months postpartum.

pregnancy 2:

By the time I had my second positive pregnancy test, I had a plan. I had a great relationship with my pelvic floor PT. I knew what to look out for, and had finally learned to slow down enough to put in the work. The result was a pregnancy and recovery that has been, in nearly every measurable way, opposite to my first.

here’s exactly what I did: the apps, the protocols, the birth prep, the phased postpartum recovery, and the principles I wish someone had told me at my first OB appointment.

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Good morning! Today I’m delighted to introduce you to , health journalist, personal trainer, founder of Pilates for Abortion funds, and the author of , a body-neutral newsletter about exercise.

Anna’s work on How to Move is rare in the fitness world: comprehensive writing, videos, interviews and movement instruction without diet-culture messaging. Her focus on supporting all readers from all backgrounds to build sustainable, positive movement practices that support wellbeing (and enjoyment of exercise!) is a breath of fresh air. She shares weekly workouts, interviews with experts, and helpful tips to enjoy new movements and make exercises more doable.

Her newsletter is one I reference for so many topics: how to exercise more sustainably, how to eat more healthfully (without being on a diet), and where fitness and pelvic health overlap. Her encouraging and accessible voice to promote movement and health for all bodies is a bright spot in my feeds. I love her work and I think you will too.

Without further ado – Anna.

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about you:

Name: Anna Maltby

Title / Role (how would you describe yourself and what you do?): Health journalist, certified personal trainer, and author of How to Move, an anti-diet newsletter about exercise

Where are you answering from today? Brooklyn, NY

Where can readers find you:

• Newsletter: howtomove.substack.com

• Social Handles @howannamoves on IG and TikTok

How would you describe yourself in one sentence? I’m an unlikely fitness expert who aims to demystify movement, make strength training accessible, low-key, and fun, and disentangle exercise from unhelpful aesthetic goals.

Is there a project, launch, or other thing you’d love readers to know about right now? Just the newsletter at the moment! I also host a really fun 30-day strength challenge three times a year, usually in January, May, and September, which I always announce on How to Move.

A few pieces I’ve personally loved from Anna:

• Ugh, I have to do a whole weighted vest thing, don’t I.

• Strength training tips for runners, and running tips for beginners

• How do you move when you’re moving through mud?

• How to Move with hypermobility and connective tissue disorders (including Ehlers-Danlos)

What’s your go-to coffee order?* My preferred coffee is really good, strong drip coffee with oat milk! If I’m at a spot where I know I can trust the drip, that’s what I’ll get. If I’m worried it’s too weak, I’ll get a cappuccino. (Decaf if it’s after about 10:00am!)

Something you read, watched, or listened to recently that stuck with you?* I recently, very belatedly, checked out Aubrey Gordon’s “’You Just Need to Lose Weight’: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People“ from the library, and it’s just such an incredible compendium of all the facts, history, and scientific evidence that prove the harms and fallacies of diet culture and anti-fat bias that I ordered my own copy, which I really should have done from the jump because I want to support anything Aubrey does. I *need* this book on my desk at all times!

A product or object that’s made your daily life a little better* I recently bought a completely not-cute little zipper pouch at the dollar store, and put all my essential purse stuff in it — wallet, lip balm, hair tie, hand lotion, etc. — and now when I want to change bags, I just take this little thing out of one bag and put it into the other. It feels so silly but makes a huge difference in how organized I feel! Just cuts down on the chaos a little.

A book / podcast/ article you keep recommending?* I’ve been really into Hildegard of Bingen (look her up!!!) for quite a long time, and two years ago I read the most beautiful novelization of her life, called “Illuminations,” by Mary Sharratt. It kicked off a mini Middle Ages/Medieval women phase, and I’ve since loved “Poet, Mystic, Widow, Wife“ (a nonfiction work about Marie de France, Julian of Norwich, Christine de Pizan, and Margery Kempe) and Lauren Groff’s incredible “Matrix.“ (editor’s note: +10000 to Matrix!)

Small luxury or splurge you won’t apologize for: If I get a manicure, I’m adding a 10-minute chair massage! Not sorry at all!

What’s your current most used emoji? I’m such a millennial, but it’s just always the cry-laughing guy! That, or heart eyes, melting, or any of the ones that pop up when you type “dizzy” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Something you’re curious about right now?* I’m curious about so many things to do with exercise! I’ve been a certified personal trainer for more than a decade, and I’m constantly thinking about that Socrates (or should I say So-Crates?) quote in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure: “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.“ We learn so much in our professional training, but in the real world we discover the many, many types of clients and situations that we simply weren’t prepared for — but the fact that continuing education is required to maintain our credentials feels like such a gift. I’ve done a lot of continuing ed in the perinatal period and the pelvic floor, and I’m currently working on a menopause certification. And on my newsletter, I have a new series called How to Move With, where I interview experts about exercising when you have a chronic condition or other situation that makes movement tricky. Just always looking to learn more!

Favorite discovery this year?* I’m very late to the game, but I’ve finally been doing Nuuly for the last few months and it’s been so much fun to scratch the shopping itch without actually overstuffing my closet or overspending.

A new skill, hobby or practice you’re trying (or wanting to try)* I studied Spanish in high school and college and was actually quite good at it, but didn’t use it for many years. Now I’m part of a community with a lot of Spanish speakers, and I’m trying to be brave about using my Spanish. It’s so hard to feel bad at something you used to be good at, but very worth it! I can feel some creaky, rusty old parts of my brain slowly coming back online.

An experience you’d recommend to others? Snowshoeing! I got to do this last winter for the first time at a retreat in the high desert in Oregon, on 9 feet of fresh snow, and it was absolutely magical.

A risk you’re glad you took? Launching my newsletter two summers ago. It felt really big and intimidating to put myself out there (especially putting videos of myself exercising out there, eek!). But I’ve built a new career for myself where I call the shots completely — and every message from someone sharing how much the work has meant to them, how they’ve picked up heavier weights than they ever thought possible, how their relationship with their body has changed, just makes it feel so worth it.

A piece of advice you return to often?* It’s a bit of marriage advice from an older couple at our wedding: “Treat each other like your most prized possession.” The longer a relationship goes on, the easier it can feel to take each other for granted and let go of the little courtesies and sweetness you had for each other early on — but it’s helpful to remember just how precious and special this person is to you, and that they deserve to be treated that way. My husband and I have been together for 17 years and married for 13, and I’m really grateful that we both still take this approach.

A perspective that’s shifted for you in the last year?* I find myself slowly moving away from the scarcity mindset that has been so embedded in me as someone who graduated directly into the 2008 recession to work in the media industry that, in the intervening years, has been absolutely destroyed by the internet and social media and idiotic leadership and AI and the list goes on. I don’t know what my future looks like, exactly, but I’m finally starting to believe that it might hold some really *good* things, and not just surviving from one disaster to the next.

What helps you stay grounded? Such a literal answer, but gardening. Nothing helps me practice mindfulness, focus, and appreciation for my surroundings more.

What would your younger self be surprised to know about you? Probably everything, haha! She was not at all athletic and hated exercise, so the fact that my whole career now revolves around fitness would seem so weird and funny to her. She also wasn’t a big kid person, so my two children would definitely be a surprise as well. (She’d be very glad that I live in New York City and have two cats, though.)

How do you nurture connection with yourself? I try to keep things balanced. I do make time to take care of myself and be alone with my thoughts, but sometimes I notice that maybe I’m getting *overly* focused on myself. That anxious, icky feeling is usually a sign that I need to look outside myself and connect with others and my community.

Who do you look to for inspiration? Who or what is sparking your creativity?* I read and consume so much that sometimes I can get in my own head about whether what I’m offering to the world is actually any good! When I feel that way, taking a step away from all the inputs and doing something like taking a walk or gardening without headphones, just letting my mind empty out and wander, is always the key.

Is there a tradition or ritual you cherish? I work from home, but teach Pilates at a studio a neighborhood away once a week. I love the 20-ish minute walk to and from the studio, in all weather, and really cherish this baked-in reason to get out of the house and look around a little.

If you could have coffee with anyone (no rules!) who would it be? My aunt Pamela. She was so beloved to me, and she died when I was 22. As I’ve become an adult with a husband and kids, I’ve so often felt the lack of this person whom I would absolutely be on the phone with regularly to ask for advice, share updates, and laugh and cry together. She worked in the women’s health space (she was part of the Boston Women’s Health Collective, which created Our Bodies Ourselves) and I often wonder what she’d have to say about my work now. And I know she’d be obsessed with my kids.

I so deeply admire Anna’s curiosity and willingness to continue to learn, even and especially in her own field of expertise. Her emphasis on body-neutrality is so refreshing in our current age of extreme thinness, and makes her workouts accessible and uplifting. I hope you enjoy moving with her as much as I do.

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If you were to identify a universal Pacific Northwest Experience, it would be all of us blinking, dazedly after three days of blue skies and temperatures over 65 degrees and suddenly announcing we’re thinking of picking up a high endurance outdoor hobby. We’re all getting our personalities back after a season of hibernation, and I will neither confirm nor deny that I watched one too many Boston Marathon finish line videos and told my husband “I think I’d like to run another marathon”...

This has been a month of outdoor walks, transitioning my garden from spring to summer, and getting back into the swing of regular exercise after getting cleared to run postpartum. I won’t be hitting the marathon circuit anytime soon, but the sunshine is enough to make me believe and I’ll take it.

April’s monthly digest is packed full of recommendations with similar energy – springy recipes, bingeable cult-y tv shows, a very contentious novel, and quick and easy no-cook recipes that give you time to workout before the sunsets.

Let’s get to it.

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A packed month! We’ve got two interviews, a look at the systems that keep the train on the tracks while solo parenting, an updated Seattle city guide, my somewhat minimalist beauty routines, and a Sunday edition with behind the scenes and curated menus. Dig in!

• whimsy for the walls

• march digest

• coffee with... mallory oniki

• my minimal-ish beauty routines

• solo parenting was... kind of fun?

• coffee with... katie stone

• city guide: seattle 2.0

• bulbs, berries and other spring things

Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. I’ll be honest with you – this was one of my most anticipated releases of the year, but the longer I’ve sat with the book the more frustrated I feel. The premise, if you’re unfamiliar; a Ballerina Farm-esque tradwife behind a social media empire wakes up one morning in 1855 and must survive the realities of living in “the good old days”. Much of the critique online stems from the abundance of unlikeable characters in the book, something I actually didn’t take particular issue with. The main character, Natalie, is fighting to behave and be perceived as she feels she ought to be in an oppressive system, and is understandably extraordinarily angry as a result. [Spoilers ahead, if you haven’t read it] Instead, I find significant fault with the twist and “big reveal” that Natalie did not, in fact, time travel, or get abducted or put on a reality tv show – she had a fairly significant mental breakdown and created the “1855” reality as a reaction to a public cancellation.

Let me be clear: that is a novel I would love to read: to really dig into the pressures and similarities of social media and high control religion, to explore religious psychosis and really get into the negative impact of family vlogging and fundamentalist neglect on children. Author Caro Claire Burke has gone on record saying she wrote the book for women from high control environments for whom religious scrupulosity is an inescapable part of their lives (this essay about a similar experience is quite good). And perhaps it’s a misalignment with how the book was marketed (a tradwife time travel thriller) but…that book is not the book that I read. No less than 80% of the book is focused on the lead up and the “mystery” of where she is and how she got there, with the reveal of the breakdown and overall conclusion shoehorned into the last few chapters. “Oops, it’s because she’s crazy” as the answer feels deeply unsatisfying (might I even say lazy), considering the extraordinarily limited airtime given to the slide from perfection to delusion, and how the men in the family enabled and ultimately facilitated the entire operation. It’s absolutely a critique of how high control, fundamentalist religious traditions harm everyone involved but ultimately focuses on the mystery at the expense of exploring deeper questions in any meaningful way.

Recursion by Blake Crouch: Enjoyed this science fiction novel from the author of Dark Matter that follows a neuroscientist inventing a chair to enable the preservation of memories… and a cop 10 years in the future investigating an outbreak of “false memory syndrome” where victims have vivid memories of lives they never lived. Feels a bit like the sci-fi spiritual companion to The Unseen World by Liz Moore (reviewed here) .

East of Eden by John Steinbeck (still re-reading): I’m still on a slow and steady re-read of my favorite book of allllllll time, reading and annotating a few chapters every few days. It brings me back to one of my favorite classes of all time where we spent several months on East of Eden, discussing not only the story but the way the language of the story is constructed as well. It’s a far closer read than I have done for anything in years, and I recommend wholeheartedly.

Up Next: Whidbey by T. Kira Madden.

kid’s books

Helga Makes a Name for Herself by Megan Maynor and Eda Kaban. A baby viking defies everyone else’s expectations for her in order to become who she has always wanted to be. A very sweet story about following your dreams even if other people doubt you.

Usborne Flap books First Questions: Why Do We Need Bees? If your child incessantly asks why (and then drills into 47 more layers of why) I highly recommend the First Questions books – they have so many about so many topics with lots of details and flaps to look behind for just about every question (what are feelings? Where does poop go? Why do I sometimes feel sad? SO MANY!)

Spring’s Miracles by Kaitlin B. Curtice and Gloria Félix: A Potawatomi indigenous girl and her family celebrate the new year at the beginning of spring with a camping and climbing trip. It’s a beautiful celebration of the gifts of spring, with gentle themes about finding courage and inspiration in nature.

Let’s Do Nothing and Everything by Julia Kuo. A really lovely, lyrical book about spending and celebrating special moments with a child. Especially great for an adventurous little one, it’s a sweet reminder that sometimes the most magical moments are the most ordinary.

open tabs

• Love in the Time of A.I. Companions

• MIT created duplicate AI workers to tackle thousands of different tasks. The verdict? Most of the time AI is still just ‘minimally sufficient’

• Want to understand the current state of AI? Check out these charts.

• How Short-Form Clips Took Over the Internet - The Atlantic

• Make Way for the Investment Bank Influencers - “no social media” as a policy deterring Gen-Z? Shocking.

• Beauty and horror - an interview with Petra Collins

• The Body I Couldn’t Abstract:Motherhood reshaping shame, art, and the female body

Have been absolutely loving Margot’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+ - reviewed here) about the single mom making a career as an OnlyFans creator, guided by her cosplay loving roommate and former pro-wrestler dad. Have been particularly moved by Nick Offerman’s performance - equal parts funny and moving.

I don’t binge watch often, but have been nearly unable to stop myself from watching every episode of culty drama Unchosen (Netflix) that takes a hard look at a secluded fundamentalist Christian cult in the UK. Centered around Rosie, a wife and mother in the sect who becomes involved in an affair with a mysterious outsider, it casts a sharp eye on the physical and emotional abuse of high control religions. I’m about halfway through and can’t wait to see where it goes.

I absolutely loved the first seasons of Beef on Netflix (reviewed here), and was so excited to hear they were developing the show into an anthology for the next season. I’m only one episode in, but can already tell the focus on striving and class consciousness between two country club employees and their boss will be an engaging watch. I love blackmail, and I love Oscar Issac and Carey Mulligan, so consider me sat.

I have been working my way through The Americans (Hulu) for several months now, and we just finished. I raved about it when we started the show, and now that we have finished, I stand ten toes down that it’s one of the best TV shows I’ve ever watched. If you need me, I’ll be grieving that it’s over for the next 7-10 business days.

Attempting to figure out what it says about me that “American Cars”, “Haircut”, “Willing and Able” and “Downfall” are my favorite songs, and I don’t think it’s looking good y’all.

Lots of good cooking and eating this month – really how can you not with spring produce?! I looooooved the Honey Saffron Iced Latte and have been consistently making coco americanos for my second coffee of the day and I don’t think I will ever stop.

With later sunsets, my husband and I have been alternating who gets to exercise in the evening after dinner, and I’ve been turning to the “quick and easy with minimal clean up” recipes way more often as a result. With the warmer weather, my DIY Recipe for Serenity Now! Sandos is insanely easy to assemble *and* clean up. Similarly, these calabrian chili-spiced Caesar Salad Wraps absolutely crush (swap the pesto chicken for shredded rotisserie chicken for minimal cooking, or do roasted chickpeas to make it plant based!). We also devoured these honey harissa chicken bowls which make fabulous leftovers.

for Seattle locals:

Short and sweet list this month!

Finally made it out to Howdy Y’all Coffee in the Central Library downtown. The earl grey matcha was fantastic, and I only wish I had had more time to work in the library – it’s such a special building. Had a girl’s brunch at recently opened Cafe Lolo in north Capital Hill – the local grain and produce spot is cozy and the brunch offerings are unassuming and delicious. I had what was (essentially) beans on toast with a jammy egg, and it was genuinely great. Other orders at the table included breakfast pasta (innovation! Large portions and delicious), lots of coffees (all good and in excellent ceramics), and a buckwheat blintz (looked fab).

A slow month for shopping – really only had one larger purchase around the sephora sale this month and almost all of those were restocks of empties. In my cart:

• Osea body care sets - picked up a few on sale to have gifts for special occasions and “just because” on hand… and replenish my fave body oil for post everything shower slathering.

• Act & Acre Scalp Serum - still fighting the good fight on postpartum hair loss and regrowth

• Bumble & Bumble Sea Salt Surf Spray - for summer airdrying with a beachy twist

• Soft Services Buffing Bar - i was using the affogato & orange scented bar since around october and finally finished it out. Swapped to the “green banana” scent for a summery scent and am loooooooooving it so far!

• Amika Plus Size Body Mousse - still working to learn how to do both an at-home blowout and how to effectively use a diffuser to wear my hair more naturally. This new-to-me mousse has been an excellent addition to both processes.

links you loved:

• Soft Services Carrera Cream - my favorite lotion! Urea softens skin, colloidal oatmeal nourishes and it’s not! Sticky!

• Flamingo Estate Garden Tour - a fantastic hostess / mother’s day gift.

• Ruggable Leaping Cheetah Rug - honestly thrilled to see how many of you picked up this fun and functionable rug!

• Caudalie Resveritrol Firming Serum - my faaaaave pregnancy & breastfeeding friendly skin serum that I’ve been evangelizing since 2024.

• New Balance 204 Sneaker - the cutest sneaker! Scallop detail on a solomon-eqsue shoe? Adoraaaable.

• Framebridge Dual Diptych frames - beautiful statement frames, perfect for making a big statement with a smaller piece.

that’s all for me today! see you in May for more sunday menus, two new coffee with… interviews, a tested & curated review of different meal delivery programs, and a coffee with maggie audio post!

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We spent the weekend gardenin…

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But! With all the requests for Seattle recommendations, I realized that it’s been nearly four years since I wrote and published my first Seattle City Guide. While I’ll stand ten toes down about all my recs in that piece, a lot has changed since then: We’ve moved to a different neighborhood, had two kids, and several of my favorite spots have closed, while new favorites have popped up.

All that’s to say, she was long overdue for an update.

Without further ado: thrilled to share an extremely comprehensive guide developed over years. This is a long one, so I’ve divided her up into the following sections:

• Neighborhoods to know (preview)

• Food & Drink (preview)

  • Sections include: top favorites, other go-tos, plant-based, drinks, breakfast/brunch, & ice cream

• Wellness, Fitnees & Beauty

• Shopping

• Outdoors

• Arts, Culture & Activities

• Stuff with Kids

• *the* google map - an obsessively curated map with all my recommendations saved to make planning your visit seamless.

Let’s get to it,

This guide focuses primarily on Seattle proper – If you’re looking for recs in the surrounding areas, I’ve got mini travel guides for Orcas Island and Victoria on Vancouver Island as well.

neighborhoods to know

Something that can be challenging when visiting / thinking about moving to or visiting any city is trying to figure out where anything is and where you want to be in relation to all those things. I’m sharing a generalized neighborhood guide and my recommendations as they relate to living / visiting there. These are by no means the end all be all - more my general reflection based on my experience here.

MONTLAKE / MADISON PARK / MADRONA / DENNY BLAINE

I *currently* live here, and I love it! These neighborhoods are decidedly residential, although there are some very cute neighborhood centers with great local businesses. There is also excellent access to nature with the University of Washington Arboretum, the Japanese Gardens, and the Lake Washington waterfront. It’s easy to commute to both downtown and the east side from here (although its much trickier to make it west to Queen Anne and Ballard).

BALLARD / FREMONT / WALLINGFORD

I used to live in this area, and I love it!

Ballard has a good mix of young people and families, and a great selection of bars / restaurants (as well as my favorite farmer’s market on Sunday). The growing brewery district is also a ton of fun and always worth a visit. Fremont is like Ballard’s artsy sibling — similar, but with decidedly funkier vibes (#fremontcenteroftheuniverse) while Wallingford is the more mature older sibling. It’s quite easy to commute downtown from here.

CAPITOL HILL / CENTRAL DISTRICT

Cap Hill is a lot of fun - I liken it to West Hollywood in LA, with a lot of bars, restaurants, nightclubs, cafes, etc. I would say it’s a fun place to stay on a visit, and while I personally wouldn’t want to live there (it can be a bit busy, and crowded) I know lots of friends who have lived there and love it. It has a good proximity to downtown and the east side (Bellvue, Kirkland, Redmond) if you need to consider a commute.

SOUTH LAKE UNION

SLU is very centrally located (see: convenient) with some growing food and drink options. Although it is largely office buildings (hello @ amazon and google) , a bunch of apartments have been built up in the last year or so. I stayed in SLU the first time I visited and I would definitely recommend it just for ease of access — if you’re looking for a special occasion, highly recommend 1 Hotel Seattle.

QUEEN ANNE / MAGNOLIA

Queen Anne and Magnolia are lovely - lots of families and great views. Both neighborhoods are a little sleepier (and if I’m honest, pricer) than Ballard or Cap Hill. QA has good proximity to Seattle Center (the Space Needle, etc) and downtown but staying in SLU is more central.

DOWNTOWN / PIONEER SQUARE / BELLTOWN

Downtown, Belltown and Pioneer Square are a little complicated - there are some truly incredible spots, but not as many people live there. I worked downtown everyday for almost 2 years before COVID, but now / after COVID I rarely head downtown except on limited occasions. These neighborhoods do have some excellent restaurants, and the bigger tourist attractions: Pike Place Market, Seattle Waterfront and Aquarium, Seattle Art Museum, Nordstrom Flagship, etc.

If you’re visiting (and looking for something fancy) I highly recommend the Lotte hotel (to stay or for dinner at their gorgeous top floor bar and restaurant). Otherwise, you can reach all the quintessential tourist destinations from SLU, QA or Cap Hill just as easily, and I’d generally encourage you to do that.

WEST SEATTLE

What can I say about West Seattle except that people who live in West Seattle LOVE living in West Seattle, and people who don’t live in West Seattle don’t go there as often as we should . The few times I’ve made it over it’s been absolutely lovely, with good food and great views.

INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

One thing I know about this guide is that it doesn’t include nearly enough information about things to do, see and eat in the International District. A lot of the places on this list are from neighborhoods we explored pre-covid and pre-kids, and I’m generally bummed with how little I have gotten down into the ID to really explore.

SOUTH SEATTLE (GEORGETOWN/MT. BAKER / HILLMAN CITY / COLUMBIA CITY / BEACON HILL)

Another of my lesser explored neighborhoods, but whenever I make it down I inevitably add a new favorite to my top all time list. Friends who live there love the community.

EASTSIDE (BELLVUE, KIRKLAND, REDMOND)

AKA Microsoft land. It’s on the other side of Lake Washington from Seattle proper, which can mean more space and different commutes. Similar to West Seattle, we don’t see the friends who live here as often as we should just due to distance and logistics (but it is home to our all time fave off leash dog park!)

food & drink

disclaimer: this guide is *extremely long*, and doesn’t even include coffee (you can see the V1 of that guide here, and an updated guide coming your way soon!)

MY FAVORITE MEALS IN SEATTLE:

CAFE LAGO

It’s no coincidence that my neighborhood restaurant makes the top of this list. I absolutely adore walking over for dinner or drinks at this classic Italian spot. Monday’s are for half price pizzas, but don’t miss out on the lasagna – it’s light and so so delicious. They are fantastic with kids (paper covered tablecloths and crayons, kids food always comes out first) and a perfect spot for a date night, special occasions or larger groups. Do me a favor and order the tiramisu.

PANCITA

Pancita is a gorgeous Mexican restaurant that is one of our favorites for date nights and special occasions. There is an excellent selection of mezcal cocktails, the serrano-spiked caesar salad is fantastic, we always get the tuna tostadas, and on our last visit we had a truly memorable chicken mole situation I still think about.

SAINT BREAD:

Saint Bread is easily our favorite “easy” meal in Seattle - an excellent cafe with one of my favorite breakfast sandwiches *and* one of Mark’s favorite burgers, a consistently excellent coffee program, and some extremely fun pastries. There is a lovely outdoor patio, and in the summer they do dinner (with a summer only bar and food truck). It’s extremely kid friendly (lots of space outdoors to run around, plus chalk and outdoor games in the summer). Lines can get extremely long on weekends, and the pastry case clears out quick! A BEC, vanilla latte and chocolate chip cookie from SB was quite literally my only request after delivering my daughter.

CIUDAD:

A Mediterranean - style restaurant focused on meat & veggies cooked over a charcoal grill, Ciudad is consistently excellent. Everything is shared plates style with absolutely incredible flavor - both meat and plant based options are phenomenal. I can’t recommend the falafel and the pita and dips enough. Pro tip: save room after dinner (hard to do) and swing into Matcha Man down the street for a matcha soft serve and taiyaki.

HOMER:

With Mediterranean and Middle Eastern inspired food Homer has more PNW influences than Cuidad. Everything is wood-fired and served to share. Don’t sleep on the house-made soft serve — it’s always great. looking for something more casual? Don’t sleep on sister restaurant MilkDrunk: the absolutely iconic combination of fried chicken and perfect soft serve.

VOLUNTEER PARK CAFE

Another neighborhood favorite. Famous for breakfast sandwiches, but you can’t go wrong with any of the soups, toasts, or assorted baked goods. There is a delightful shoppy shop (ahem, a “larder”), and gorgeous natural light — perfect to sit and work on weekdays, meet up with a friend, or grab a bite before a walk around the park.

OXBOW

Another walkable neighborhood spot moving into the updated “faves” list – morning edition. Oxbow is the bagel and pizza outpost of the folks at Seawolf, and they make a mean sourdough bagel (a little crisp for my personal taste but beggars can’t be choosers). They have a full espresso bar, live jazz on Friday and Saturday nights, and a full menu of (excellent) sandwiches, in addition to the bagels. I go to Oxbow so much my budgeting app has suggested a recurring monthly budget. There is a 50/50 chance that any of the newsletters I’ve sent in the past two years were written at Oxbow, fueled by a 2 pm iced tea and cheese knot.

CORNELLY

Cornelly is a fantastic pizza and pasta spot in Capital Hill (and now Queen Anne!). Everything is local, seasonal and handmade, and they have the pepperonis that curl up into little cups, (obviously the best kind). I will always order the chicory caesar and the chocolate chip cookie, but you genuinely can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. I went for my birthday / last meal before my daughter was born this winter and it was perfect.

ALEBRIJES KITCHEN

Alebrijes Kitchen is hands down the best traditional Mexican food I’ve found in Seattle. Family owned and operated, the food is incredible, the ambiance is warm and welcoming, and the drinks are great. It was one of the first restaurants we regularly took our son to once he was eating real food and they were so great to us– kid food was served lightning quick (clutch) and at a reasonable temperature. Sounds silly but makes a huge difference in everyone’s experience. Highly recommend the fish tacos, but any of the specials are great.

all the rest

Y’all we love food. I’ve broken down the rest of my go-tos into type of recommendation for ease:

SPECIAL OCCASIONS:

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If you’ve spent any time on the wellness and beauty corner of the internet, you’ve almost certainly come across . As the brand and creative strategist, freelance writer and author of the newsletter, she’s laser focused (no pun intended) on wellness, beauty and fashion. She’s consulted with some of the best in the wellness and beauty industry, and her work reads like a very fashionable and in-the-know friend telling you what’s actually worth your time and money.

Her recurring Into The Fridge series, which profiles the kitchens of trendsetters and tastemakers, is one of my favorite recurring columns, and I bookmark every single one of her product review showdown deep dives. Today we’re covering longevity as success, vulnerability as a strength, and a whole bunch more.

Without further ado – Katie.

Xx

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about you

Name: Katie Stone

Title / Role (how would you describe yourself and what you do?): brand + content strategist, freelance writer

Where are you answering from today? New York

Where can readers find you:

• Websites:

  • www.katie-stone.com

  • itskatiestone.substack.com

• Social Handles @itskatiestone on Instagram

How would you describe yourself in one sentence?I’m a brand and creative strategist, freelance wellness + beauty writer, and stereotypical New Yorker.

Is there a project, launch, or other thing you’d love readers to know about right now? not really, just Plant Based!

A few pieces I’ve personally loved from Katie:

Plant Based

How to feel good (again)

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2 years ago · 3693 likes · 122 comments · Katie Stone

Plant Based

How to Seasonally Reset

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a year ago · 194 likes · 17 comments · Katie Stone

Plant Based

Wellness City Guide: Copenhagen

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5 months ago · 23 likes · Katie Stone

Plant Based

The Illusion of Perfect Balance

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5 months ago · 59 likes · 16 comments · Katie Stone

What’s your go-to coffee order?* black, no need to leave room for milk

Something you read, watched, or listened to recently that stuck with you?* Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

A small ritual or habit that brings you joy?* Cooking myself the same breakfast every morning. These days it’s scrambled eggs, sautéed kale, and steamed kabocha squash.

A product or object that’s made your daily life a little better* My Soft Services Soap Home :)

A book / podcast/ article you keep recommending?* The Monks in the Casino by Derek Thompson

Small luxury or splurge you won’t apologize for: Bottled water! specifically in a glass bottle!

What’s your current most used emoji? ✅✅✅✅✅

Something you’re curious about right now?* Interior design — my friend Tenlie Mourning is helping me design my living room so furniture and decor is on the mind.

Favorite discovery this year?* golden kiwis... so much better than green kiwis

A new skill, hobby or practice you’re trying (or wanting to try)* taking a lunch break so I don’t inhale my food while I answer emails

An experience you’d recommend to others? watching Succession from the beginning, even if you feel like you missed the boat when it first came out (editors note: +10000000000 DO IT).

What’s you’re favorite way to get out of your comfort zone? On a micro level: trying a new workout class, on a macro level: traveling by myself.

A risk you’re glad you took? Working for myself + starting my Substack!

A piece of advice you return to often?* this too shall pass

A perspective that’s shifted for you in the last year?* Vulnerability is an act of strength

How are you defining success in this season? Being able to balance ambition + monetary achievement with relaxation and joy. In other words, longevity.

What helps you stay grounded? Journaling when the thoughts in my head become too cloudy

What idea, quote or framework shapes how you move through life? Self esteem comes from esteemable acts

How do you nurture connection with others? Quality time with my friends / loved ones while my phone is on silent

How do you nurture connection with yourself? Journaling — I try to journal at least a little bit every morning. I feel my best when I do some form of meditation on a regular basis, but I’m not always the best about it.

Who do you look to for inspiration? Who or what is sparking your creativity?* My friends! I feel so lucky to have such creative, inspiring people close to me.

Is there a tradition or ritual you cherish? Writing quick letters to my friends on the back of the postcards they give you with the check at restaurants

If you could have coffee with anyone (no rules!) who would it be? Lorde

I keep thinking about what Katie has to say about balancing achievement and ambition with relaxation and joy, and reflecting on what it would look like for ambition and rest to be held together rather than traded against each other. It’s a throughline that feels more appealing the longer I sit with it.

If you work in or around the wellness and beauty space, or if you’re into thoroughly researched and tested recommendations, Katie’s writing is worth the follow.

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1. Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+) Elle Fanning stars as Margot, a single mother and recent college drop out who turns to an OnlyFans-eque website to pay her mounting bills and build a creative escape from her life. Based on the novel of the same name, it’s funny, charming and warm – and offers a more honest look at early motherhood than almost anything I’ve seen on TV. Episodes are a quick 35 minutes, but there is an incredible amount of world building and storytelling in each one. Three episodes are available now, and I can’t wait for the rest to be released – the performances, the pacing, and the heart of the show are spectacular.

2. 750 Words. Have been delighted by the website 750 words, designed to help cultivate a regular journal practice. While I’ve completed The Artists Way and am currently working through another creative writing challenge, I typically do these by hand which requires quite a bit of activation energy. I’ve been enjoying the low stakes, lightly gamified website as a way to build a little bit of discipline around sitting down and just writing morning pages - it tracks your stats in words per minute, total time writing, and number of distractions, and builds out a few little charts of themes and common topic areas. You’re also able to search your writing history by keyword, topic or theme, which I find immensely helpful! Highly recommend it if you’re interested in starting a low effort, low commitment journaling practice.

3. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. Yesteryear is one of the most buzzed about new releases of the year – a tradwife influencer (a la Ballerina Farm or Nara Smith) wakes up one day in the 1800s and is forced to live out the reality of the old timey fantasy she has been peddling to her followers. I thought the novel captured the complexities of “being online” better than any other influencer novel I’ve read, and I genuinely enjoyed the twist – although I wish more time was given to explore the implications. Question for readers: I’ve contemplated doing a book club of sorts and this is exactly the kind of book I really want the chance to discuss with folks. Let me know in the comments if you’re interested!

One of the things I find most interesting as a mother is information from other parents on how they “get things done”. Not the glossy “day in my life” videos, but the nitty gritty, realistic look behind the scenes of the systems (or lack thereof) that help you keep it all together. And while I am far from a mommy blogger, when I do write about motherhood and parenting, the “how I do it” stuff is my favorite thing to write about – how I structure activities with a toddler to be educational and fun, how I approach meals, or how we travel as much as we have with our son.

In this season of my life, I’m the most interested in what it looks like for those of us who are building our own village from scratch: how we are hobbling together systems and supports to make parenting in 2026 (somewhat) manageable. This has been particularly relevant during my first stint solo parenting both kids a few weeks ago.

The last time I wrote about solo parenting life looked significantly different: we only had one child (18 months old), I was working full time as a strategy director, and we still had our beloved nanny. This time around, it was a much different story: I’m outnumbered by my three and a half and 4.5 month old, still emerging from the postpartum period, working freelance, and (still) without fulltime childcare. Despite all of this, the week was all together manageable (...dare I say a little fun??? Perhaps type 2 fun?) in a way I’m not sure could have been possible even a few years ago.

Today, I’m getting into the details about how we made it work for the long distance daughters among us – from how we approached childcare to where I leaned on my friends to the shortcuts I took to make my life easier, it’s “build your own village” time.

Let’s get to it,

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In the years since becoming a parent (and especially since becoming a parent of two) it’s become extremely apparent to me just how little slack there is in our family system: my husband and I both live far from family (a 3.5 hour flight, minimum), and have been working to establish a community in Seattle since relocating here from LA. When it works, it’s great, but pretty much any time there is a change in schedules, an illness, or other disruption, things can get chaotic, fast.

Here’s how I managed five days of solo parenting:

community support:

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I’ll reiterate what I always say when these sales come up: I personally use sales as a way to restock things I know for a fact I’ll use at a discount (rather than go nuts on new or trending items). I am also remarkably consistent, and have been recommending many of the same products for litera…

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For someone who talks about food as much as I do, you might be surprised to know I’m extremely picky about the food creators that I choose to follow. More than just a beautifu…

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I took the official arrival of spring quite personally this year, accepting the change of seasons as an invitation to rest. Only…

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